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Love, Free as Air	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 32703 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 16
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Thanks again for all the reviews!

Chapter Seventeen�Like
Three Legs of a Table

�� Severus and
Potter�Draco rolled the name Harry around
in his mind occasionally, but didn�t yet have the courage to speak it
aloud�weren�t perfect.

�� He got
ample proof of that in the next few days. Potter started to make some
significant remark about the future several times, with his eye on Draco, and
had to choke it back each time. He looked sorry when he did it, of course, but
that wasn�t the point. Draco had said that he didn�t want to be pressured, and
Potter had done it anyway. Draco satisfied himself, each time, by turning away
with immense dignity and occasionally getting up to leave the table.

�� Once,
Potter followed him into the drawing room. Draco turned around to face him, and
he knew that his expression was wild and his eyes too bright, but he couldn�t
help it.

�� You said
that you wouldn�t press me,� he hissed. �You said that you would hold back and
let me do what I wanted when I wanted
to.�

�� And Potter
had winced, and nodded, and murmured that he was sorry, and then gone out of
the room�either back into the kitchen if he wasn�t finished eating, or up to
his bed or out into the gardens. Once or twice that week he accompanied Severus
into the lab, an activity that Draco watched suspiciously, but could think of
no reason for interfering with.

�� Sometimes
he thought they were leaving him out. And even Severus, who understood him
better, sometimes looked at him as if he thought that Draco had no right to
object to that. He was the one who
heard Draco�s breath catch when he and Potter did anything together.

�� But that
was only sometimes. The rest of the time, Draco was grateful to escape into the
gardens and stand there breathing, knowing that one of them wouldn�t summon him
in the next minute and a half. And then he would go back in and pick up the
books that Harry had brought with him from Grimmauld Place. Sometimes they were
books on law; other times he studied curses or potions. There was no pattern to
his studies yet, and Draco didn�t think there needed to be. He had to push
ahead, that was all, and experiment, and find out what he liked.

�� He had to
learn how to be himself again.

�� Severus was
more help in that than Draco had expected he would be, even if he wasn�t
perfect. He came out and sat in the drawing room while Draco read, most of the
time. He always had a thick book with him, and paid strict attention to that,
so Draco couldn�t accuse him of intruding. But if Draco did look up with the
frown that meant he needed help understanding a text, rather than the frown
that meant he needed to think through it on his own, Severus was always
available.

�� That has
to do with the first goblin rebellion,� he said one night, running his finger
along a thick paragraph that Draco had somehow skipped the middle of, and then
everything was all right again.

�� Or �Perhaps
you meant to consider this set of ingredients and not the set that you were
telling me about?� Severus identified a list on the next page, and Draco nodded
and kept on with his reading, while Severus subsided into his.

�� It was like
having a second chance to live, again, those first dizzy months when he had
been a boy and he and Severus had come here. Severus had been careful around
him then, too, Draco remembered. It was strange, but he had forgotten. He
remembered Severus being passionate and sympathetic the way he hadn�t been
later, but he was the one who had got
impatient with the slow sexual dance they were performing around each other and
accelerated it. When he was interested in a person, Severus would move slowly.

�� Perhaps he�s afraid of frightening them
away, Draco thought, staring at the back of his lover�s head as Severus
bent over a thick-written page in front of him. It wasn�t something he�d ever
considered before.

�� He and
Severus worked in the lab, too, and if Draco had been worried that Severus was
seeking to replace him with Potter, he worried less after that. Severus spoke
the directions or gave him warnings with precise clarity, and Draco whirled
through the steps of the brewing as if through a dance. When he finished and
sagged suddenly to a stop against the table, he was breathing fast and found
himself touching his forehead as if he expected to find sweat there.

�� You did
well.�

�� Draco
looked up and found Severus looming close to him, closer than Draco thought he
had come in the fortnight they�d been living together. He started to straighten,
not liking the idea of looking weak in front of Severus, but Severus bent close
to him and kissed him.

�� Draco
opened his mouth without thought. This had once been so familiar, and not in
the dry and dusty way that it had become in the later years. This was known. He let his tongue stroke the roof
of Severus�s mouth and then leaned close enough that Severus could touch his
face if he wanted to.

�� Severus
chose not to. Instead, he stepped away a moment later, and the sheer intensity of his eyes made Draco
swallow.

�� I will not
push you into anything that you might regret,� Severus murmured. �If you wish
to join me for the brewing session that I will conduct tomorrow, for the sake
of the experience, then you may.�

�� Draco
couldn�t do anything but nod. Severus turned and swept out of the lab and left
Draco standing alone in a place that seemed much less enchanted when he was no
longer there. Draco picked up a vial and held it to the light, watching the sun
shake and shine from it.

�� He could
wish that he got along with Potter one half as well as he was beginning to with
Severus.

*

�� Harry
soared in circles near the top of the wards, feeling the sun on his wings and
sighing in gratitude when he finally landed on a thick branch halfway down one
of the gardens� oaks. When he put his head under his wing, the warmth still
lingered, and he made a soft clucking noise of contentment.

�� He needed
to transform into a bird and escape sometimes, although when he came back in
from a venture outside, both Draco and Severus looked at him oddly, as though
they had assumed he would take the chance to leave. Harry had thought about it,
but the tugging of the bonds tied to his heart and soul had brought him back
each time.

�� And they�ll bring me back again, Harry
thought, as he lifted his head, spent a few moments preening the feathers on
the edges of his wings, and then flew for the ground.

�� He still
didn�t know, no matter how many days passed, if this would work out. Sometimes
there seemed to be a thick understanding between Draco and Snape that he would
never share. He had walked into the drawing room the other day and seen their
heads bent together over one book, and had stopped. Neither of them had looked
up or appeared to notice him, though Harry thought Snape might have known he
was there anyway, and Harry had retreated silently.

�� He wanted
to leave them alone so that they could have the time together they needed. He
didn�t think their relationship would recover until they had it.

�� At the same
time�

�� I want something for myself, too.

�� He watched
Draco with an ache in the back of his throat, as if he was getting a cold.
Draco would laugh and say something to Snape, and Snape�s face would adopt an
odd glow, like a banked fire. He must have learned when he was young not to
show too much emotion over anything, Harry thought, or someone would snap at
him. And he would respond, and Draco�s voice would rise in communion, and it
was as if they walked through a world of their own, shutting him out.

�� Which was
ridiculous.

�� You have to enter that world if you want
them to pay attention to you, or value you.

�� But he
couldn�t be as good at potions as Draco was. Harry already knew that he would
have to prove his value to Snape in a different way, and he would have to prove
to Draco that he was valuable at all.

�� He landed
and concentrated on the necessary magic that would turn him back into a human.
His body blurred, rippled, and shook like someone wringing out a cloth. Harry
gasped in discomfort and sagged down, catching himself on his fists with an
effort. Then he was human again, and no one had watched him change, which might
put them off their dinners.

�� He picked
up his wand, which he had concealed in a notch at the foot of the tree, and
strolled inside. He couldn�t see Draco, but then again, late afternoons seemed
to be his turn to nap or examine the nearest parts of the garden for God knew
what ingredients. Harry turned towards the stairs.

�� Potter.�

�� Harry
started badly. With the leftover dazzle of the sun in his eyes as he came
through the door, he hadn�t realized Snape was sitting on the couch in the
drawing room. Just in time, Harry remembered to call him by his first name and
nodded cautiously back. �Severus. Hullo.�

�� Come
here.�

�� Cautiously,
Harry went nearer. It wasn�t that he was frightened
of Snape, not exactly. Desire did well through him when he saw him with Draco,
after all, and Harry was coming to realize that he watched Snape�s fingers when
they picked up food the way he watched the curve of Draco�s shoulder or the
line of his throat. The main problem was that he never knew what would happen
next. This was too new for that.

�� I think
you are not comfortable around me.� Snape was sitting with his hands held in
front of his lips like he was modeling for the statue of a classic evil Dark
Lord. He couldn�t be basing it on
Voldemort, he has too much nose, Harry thought, and then swallowed a
hysterical laugh and sat down on the couch before he said something stupid.

�� No,� he
did say, when he realized that Snape was really waiting for an answer. �I�m
not.�

�� I see.�
Snape studied him with those dark eyes that seemed to reflect light back rather
than take it in. Harry stared, then remembered he was staring and looked away.
He heard a rustle from Snape, but the only thing the man said was, �Why?�

�� Harry
licked his lips and told himself that he had to give an honest answer. He�d had
his chance to brood about this, the way that Draco had spent time brooding and
clucking over the effort of making his own decisions, and he also could have
left if he�d decided the experiment wouldn�t work out. It was about time that
he faced up to the task of making things function.

�� Because I
think that you and Draco have a deeper bond than we ever can,� he said, meeting
Snape�s stare without flinching for the first time in days. �Where we is you
and I, or me and him. You base it on similar interests. I can�t�I�d be willing
to learn more about potions, but I can�t make them my life.�

�� You think
we will send you away if you can�t,� Snape said.

�� Harry
flushed. He hadn�t meant to be that obvious
about the source of the problem, but there it was, laid out in plain words.
He nodded. �Yeah.�

�� I told
Draco that I was Slytherin enough to want all I could get,� Snape said, �all
that anyone was willing to give me. I have taken from unwilling patrons
before,� he added, as if he could hear the question Harry wanted to ask. �I no
longer enjoy it or see any reason to do so.�

�� Harry
nodded again.

�� Why would
I want a second Draco?� Snape asked, his voice so soft it might have sounded
threatening if Harry hadn�t been looking at his face. �I have one who can share
my interests, yes, and converse with me on a level you cannot reach. But I do
not want two.�

�� Harry
blinked. That was one thing he had never thought about. Snape�Severus�and Draco
seemed to be bonding so well that he had assumed it was the only way Snape
could bond with someone.

�� That was a stupid thing to think.

�� Most of the
things that Harry assumed were, he had to admit. He cleared his throat. �I�m
sorry. I didn�t think. But what are we
going to talk about, if we don�t talk about potions?�

�� Severus was
silent for so long that Harry assumed the question had stumped him as well,
though he was studying his fingers with rapid motions of his eyes that
suggested it hadn�t. Then he looked up and said, �Tell me why you became what
you are instead of an Auror.� His voice was uncertain, perhaps because of the
subject, perhaps simply because he didn�t know what name to give Harry�s job.

�� Harry
nodded slowly. He could talk about personal things, though he wondered how long
it would be before those ran out and they were left with the minefield of
either the war or their years at Hogwarts, and nothing else.

�� I wasn�t good at being an Auror,� he said. �It
wasn�t what I wanted. Too distant from helping people. I knew that Ron wanted
to be one, and Hermione has always wanted to be a lawyer�well, for at least a
year before she started the training, anyway. They had this faith in their
actions that I lacked. A certainty that they were doing the right thing. I
never felt it, and wondered if that was wrong.�

�� You wonder
if many things are wrong,� Severus murmured. His hand twitched as if he would
reach out and touch Harry, but it didn�t happen. �Why?�

�� Because
I�m afraid of what would happen if I didn�t, I suppose,� Harry said, and passed
on. He didn�t think his conscience was interesting, especially not to someone
like Severus, who had to be tired of Gryffindor qualms after having Dumbledore
for a friend. �I had a fight with my friends when I quit Auror training, but
more because I locked myself up in my house to think about it and they couldn�t
reach me than because I quit. They didn�t pretend to understand my decisions.
They just supported them.�

�� He felt a
warm glow as he thought about his friends, and then shook his head. They were
wonderful people. He wondered if he should feel worse than he did about leaving
them behind, although he had visited twice already, once to have dinner with
the Weasleys and once to go over legal documents that might pertain to Narcissa
Malfoy�s case with Hermione. It was going to be harder to get her free than it
had been to get Draco retried, since she�d been in Azkaban for six years
already.

�� And he
wondered if he would ever get the level of support from Snape and Draco that he
did from the Weasleys.

�� Why an
Animagus?� Severus insisted. His fingers again twitched as if he would touch
Harry, but this time he actually completed the movement, to Harry�s
astonishment, reaching out and laying a hand on his. Harry felt the touch go
through him like a sudden storm and took a careful moment to answer.

�� I�d
discovered that I could become an Animagus. It seemed stupid not to use that
talent to help people. I could still investigate and discover the solution to
mysteries the way I would have been able to if I�d stayed an Auror.�

�� Knowing
things is important to you,� Severus said in a murmur.

�� Harry
nodded, and then grinned. �But not knowing potions. It�s too orderly for me.� He had never known that
before, but the words waltzed off his tongue with the ease of long insight, and
Severus nodded back as though he�d expected them. �I need something that�s more
chaotic. I work with the Aurors sometimes, which gives me the need to follow
rules, but I�m happiest on my own, investigating situations that don�t have the
potential to turn as sour.�

�� You ought
to be happy in this situation,� Snape
said. �It could turn chaotic at any moment.�

�� It�s been
pretty ordered so far,� Harry said. �I think we were afraid of hurting each
other�s feelings. But now I want to try something new.� When Severus raised a
sardonic eyebrow, Harry leaned nearer and kissed him.

�� Severus�s
lips were as dry as he remembered last time, but this time they parted, and
Harry found himself headlong in the middle of a snog before he was ready. Panic
bolted through him, and he was tempted to withdraw.

�� No. No, I don�t want to.

�� Harry had
to curl his fingers into the material of the couch to keep on kissing Severus,
but he managed it, and then Severus clamped a hand on the back of his neck with
a little snarl and began to kiss back.

�� Harry found
himself borne backwards, heavily, with Snape�s weight coming down on top of
him. Harry gasped a little. Severus was heavier than he looked, and he liked to
drive his elbow home in Harry�s gut. But they became more comfortably arranged
when Severus discovered what the problem was, and then Severus discovered
places in Harry�s mouth that made him shiver and shy and scratch, which he�d
never known about before.

�� Long,
drugged minutes passed before Severus lifted his head, eyes half-shut. Harry
smiled. He might have been about to purr.

�� We cannot
simply kiss whenever a conversation becomes awkward,� Severus murmured.

�� I know,�
Harry said. �But it gives us something else to talk about, doesn�t it?� When
Severus stared at him as if longing to know whether that statement was real,
Harry added, �And I feel more comfortable now.�

�� I reckon
we might thank Merlin for that, at least,� Severus said, and lay on him for a
short time more, lingering, before they stood up and he led Harry in for his latest
session in the lab.

*

�� Harry was
doing his best to make himself agreeable to Draco, but his best could do no
good. Or so Severus thought, as he watched them over the next several days.

�� Draco would
only grunt and not look up from his books when Harry passed through the drawing
room or came into the kitchen. Several times Harry had cooked, and while
Severus thanked him for the food, Draco had hunched his shoulders as though
trying to throw off an unwilling obligation. The most he would do was meet his
eyes for one quick moment and then look away again.

�� Harry put
up with it all patiently, far more patiently than Severus would have. He
wondered if that wasn�t part of the problem. Draco was used to people who made
their displeasure known to him. They need not be direct�Severus found it hard
to envision Lucius being direct once Draco was older than two�but he would know
what he had done wrong and what the consequences were to be.

�� Harry
wouldn�t tell him. He glanced away from the insults, and he stood up and walked
out of the room when it became clear that Draco would respond to none of his
conversational gambits. Draco might well think that he could keep on being rude
forever. Harry would either smile and nod, or give up in silence and go away.

�� Severus did
not mean to spy on them, but he was on his way from the lab to a shelf that
contained the reference book he wanted on the day that Harry finally lost his
temper.

�� I don�t
want you here,� Draco�s sullen voice said from immediately outside the window
Severus was passing. He tilted his head, listening. Since he could see neither
of them, he immediately guessed that neither of them could see him, and he
might as well pause and wait.

�� Well, I�m
going to fly in another part of the grounds,� Harry said, and Severus heard a
series of slight sounds which might have been Harry walking up one of the dirt
paths into the middle of the garden.

�� I don�t
want to see you,� Draco continued. �Go away.�

�� Severus
rolled his eyes. That was the childish part of Draco, the one that Harry had
acted as if he didn�t believe in. He hadn�t heard
it yet, that was the problem. Draco could be charming much of the time, but
when he encountered an obstacle that didn�t melt away as he thought it should,
then he would get snappish.

�� I don�t
want to,� Harry answered, and his voice had deepened and sharpened. Severus
longed to step nearer so that he could see them through the window, but didn�t
do so, more for fear of being spotted than anything else. He didn�t want to
interrupt the progress of the argument, either. �I have as much right to be
here as you do, and��

�� You weren�t the one who spent six years
here. You don�t belong here as much as Severus and I do.�

�� Severus
winced and started to think that he should reveal himself after all. If Harry
wouldn�t fight back against that, the chances that Draco would respect him were
small.

�� I want to
belong,� Harry said, and his voice had lowered even more. �But your stupidity
might prevent that.�

�� Ah. Severus stepped back into his
original position with an undercurrent of amusement moving through his
suspense. The stunned silence that had followed Harry�s declaration was its own
reward.

�� You can�t
say that,� Draco said, but his voice shook.

�� Why not?
I�ve tried to give you time and freedom, and it just gets me sneered at. I�ve
tried to understand when you and Severus spend more time with each other than
with me, but you ignore me anyway. I�ve tried and tried and tried to be patient. You turn your head
away when I enter the room. I think you were responding more to me when we
argued than you are now.�

�� I don�t�I
need some time.�

�� Yes, I
know that,� Harry said. �I wasn�t talking about my pressuring you to make your
decisions. I was talking about your treating me as though I don�t have the
right to live in the house that you both agreed I could stay in.�

�� More
silence. Severus wondered if Draco was ashamed. It was sometimes hard for him
to be, as he would react to shame with anger, and so snap away from the emotion
he should truly feel.

�� You
changed your mind about being attracted to me awfully quickly,� Draco said, his mutter making it into an
accusation.

�� And are
people not allowed to do that?� Harry demanded. �I did it with Severus, too. It
happens that way sometimes. And I�m waiting because I don�t know if the
consequences are going to last, although I hope so.�

�� You
haven�t tried to touch me since the first day you were here,� Draco said.

�� Severus�s
second roll of his eyes was simultaneous with Harry�s disgusted snort. �Because
you�ve been so inviting. Should I
have forced myself on you so that you could protest about the way that I didn�t
respect your decisions? What few of them you make.�

�� Severus
suspected Harry was probably sorry for those last words, but when he dared to
lean forwards and peer out the window, it was to see Harry striding away with
his back firm and straight, while Draco stood there on the path and blinked
like a fool. He looked at the book in his hand, then turned towards the house.

�� Knowing
Draco must think he hadn�t overheard the conversation, Severus jerked back from
the window and hurried to fetch the book he had wanted, then returned to the
lab.

�� Harry
didn�t return until late in the evening. Draco still avoided his eyes, but he
also gave him speculative glances when he thought Harry wasn�t watching.
Severus noticed that those glances held more of honest longing than they had in the last fortnight.

�� Perhaps Harry should lose his temper more
often.

*

�� Shadow
Lily: Thanks! I think the mix improves on more fronts, here.

�� kitten:
Thank you!
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