A Wolf's Soul | By : sinfulsanctuary Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 2411 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter Eighteen – What My Parents Have, Now Mine
"Remus," I said again, delighted that he was back, but also, for the first time, afraid of him. He looked positively furious. I had stayed behind to try and fix us, maybe I shouldn't have, because now he was clearly angry with me. I had never seen him angry like that before.
I had those thoughts and a million more rushing through me in a matter of seconds.
"Niamh," Remus then said, his voice scratchier than I had ever heard it. "You're still here."
I couldn't determine what he meant by it, if he was mad at me or happy to see me. "I can go... If you want to." I felt and sounded like a child facing execution by the almighty Merlin.
He stepped closer and his face changed, the anger disappeared. "You just surprised me, I didn't think you'd stay."
"Of course I'd stay, there was no question. But I borrowed some Floo powder so I could talk to my parents."
Tension took over Remus' entire being. When I didn't continue he urged me on. "And?"
"They're fine with it, with us."
"Just like that?"
"No, not just like that. They had some concerns at first, but once I told them about what a wonderful man you are, about my Patronus, they gave their blessings."
"Why?"
"Remus Lupin, sometimes you can be disturbingly thick. I know what a wonderful man you are and they trust my judgement of you." I sat down on the sofa again. "I told them I wouldn't come home until I had fixed everything between us."
"You can't fix it, Niamh. We can't be together, it's not good for you, not safe for you."
"Oh, bollocks, Remus! Listen to me. My Patronus represent you, it takes the form of something that, right now, lies dormant deep within your soul. It showed itself fully after our first kiss. The part of my soul that was missing was you. Nothing else came to me during that time that could have been the missing piece. Unless you count the amazing chocolate mousse the house elves made that one day. Once I had you, everything fell into place. The vibration in the air between us, do you know what that is?"
He nodded, still standing in the middle of the floor between the kitchen and the living room. The ball of light hovering in front of him, being the only source of light. "I've researched it. ut what do you believe it is?"
"I realised it after being around my parents since I left school. It's the same thing that I can feel from them, when they are in the same room together. Their auras, or magic or whatever the source is, must be reacting to each other. It feels different from them, because I am not part of what binds them together, I am an outsider. But here, with you, I am on the inside, I am part of the magic. What surges between us is the same."
Remus stared at me, letting no expression show. I was curious to what his theory was, but I didn't dare start a discussion about it now. We could do that later.
I stood up and walked towards him, but stopping a few metres away, in case he decided to throw a fit again. "I am in love with you, Remus. I- I love you. I know you know. Why can't you let that be enough? That I want to be with you no matter what people say, no matter what you are, no matter..." I felt tears pressing behind my eyes, but I blinked them away. "Enough no matter what."
Remus closed his eyes. I sensed a change in the hum between us. When he had first come in it had been very slow, almost nonexistent, now it became very erratic. It made me nervous. What on earth was going on inside his head now?
He opened his eyes again and looked directly at me with those beautiful amber eyes. It made my heart beat faster and my head spin slightly. Somehow it gave me hope. Then he took two long steps towards me, eyes darkening.
The vibrations calmed. They didn't lose intensity, but they were once again settled. And then Remus put both hands on either side of my head and kissed me. Pressing his lips hard against mine, without hurting me. I sighed, letting my entire body relax against his. I had to wrap my arms around him so I wouldn't fall. This made him laugh, he let go of my lips, and held me to him, making sure I could stand more efficiently.
"I have that much of an effect on you?"
"You have no idea," I whispered against his chest.
"I've fallen in love with you too, Niamh. I need you to know that."
My breath hitched as he spoke those words into my hair.
He continued. "I'll always worry about you, for as long as we're together. But I don't think I can handle letting you go. Now, while I was away, I cou-" He took a deep breath, I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek, then he continued. "I had made a conscious decision about staying out of your life when I ran out. It hurt me, physically. When I realised I couldn't leave you, the pain went away. I was still hesitant though, as I'm sure you felt. But seeing you still here, still wanting me... And imagining my life without you is painful. I had no choice. The wolf in me made sure I had no choice."
I was confused. "You had no choice?" I asked in a whisper.
"At Hogwarts I researched the hum between us. Do you want to know what I found out?"
I nodded against him.
"I wasn't sure about what I had learned was true, but while I was away from you during the last full moon my theories was confirmed. Because I hurt then too, not from the transformation, well that too, but also because the wolf didn't know where you were. The werewolf in me recognizes you as its mate. It's been known to happen before. You tune into me because the wolf wants to draw you in, and I tune into you because... Well, because the wolf sees you as its and my mate. That's why it feels different from what you feel from your parents. I'm guessing they are both very powerful magically?"
I didn't answer right away, I was so shocked about all this that it took me a few seconds to realise he was waiting for an answer. "Yes, they are," I finally managed to say.
"It's not uncommon for two powerful people who truly love each other and are magically bonded to emit some kind of energy. You wouldn't feel anything from less powerful people. But this between us is just a werewolf and its mate drawing each other in, making sure we actually recognize each other for what we are. Now, because I have been known to be magically powerful, and you certainly seem to be, if we were to one day be bonded..."
He let the end of the sentence speak for itself. If we were to be bonded once day, we would most likely emit the same kind of energy that my parents did. So he had thought about bonding with me, even if it was in that context. I liked that. I liked that so much that my heart started beating furiously in my chest, I was positive Remus could both hear and feel it, as I was still pressed against him in an embrace.
A werewolf and its mate... It sounded like I was an animal. But weren't we all, in the big picture? Besides, my soul, my Patronus and protector, was an animal, a werewolf no less. His soul was also a werewolf, if only just a part of it. Were we really two pieces of one?
I was grateful he hadn't let me go, that he just held me and let me process this new information.
I took several deep breaths, smelling him, feeling the rough fabric of his shirt against my cheek, feeling his steady breaths, hearing his heartbeat. Vibrations surrounding us. It made me feel complete. Safe, home, and so happy I was sure my heart would explode. Smiling to myself, I twisted my right hand, let the palm face the room and thought two words loudly and clearly in my mind. Warmth flooded into my hand and a bright beam of light shot out of my hand and transformed into a bright werewolf.
It smiled up at me before it bounced happily around us, around and around and around.
Remus took my shoulders and held me at arm's length. "What? Did you - ? I didn't hear you cast any charm and your wand is on the table!"
"Wandless and non-verbal." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, but still smiled smugly. "I just felt like I could do it. My first ever successful attempt."
Once again Remus attacked my lips. Caressing mine with his, if you could call it caressing with that intensity he had going on. My hands went back around his waist, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, his hands deep in my hair. It was already clear that I would finally get what I had been so close to getting too many times the last few weeks.
Remus pushed me gently backwards, to the sofa. We sat down, and I leaned backwards, bringing him with me. Being impatient, I let my tongue glide over his lips. He responded immediately by letting me in. The touch of his tongue sent exhilarated sparks throughout my body, all settling in one particular place.
For the second time that day I could feel Remus reacting to me. Instinctively I arched my hips upwards, rubbing against his hardness, drawing a moan from him. Now he was getting impatient, he broke our kiss and began pulling off my top. I wriggled around to help him, but that almost made me fall off the couch.
"I think the sofa's too narrow, Remus," I laughed.
"I do think you are right." He smiled down at me with that incredibly sexy and playful smile. "Come on." And he stood up, took my hand and led me up the stairs.
I felt a little self conscious rushing up the stairs after him, my shirt was off and he was still fully clothed. And I was deadly afraid that breaking the moment and trying to create it again would just make everything awkward.
Remus led me into the master bedroom, which he hadn't showed me on the tour when we arrived that morning. But I didn't have time to take it in now, because as soon as I stepped through the door, Remus pulled me to him and ravished my lips again.
We quickly found the bed and fell down on top of it. Remus now began dropping kisses all over my neck. I tried to get his shirt up, wanting to feel his skin against me for the first time. But he distracted me by kissing down my shoulders and collar bone. He kept teasing me by almost, but never going lower than the top of my breast.
Again I tried to lift his shirt, but then Remus did go further down and kissed the skin right above the hem of my bra. I gasped in surprise, but didn't stop my attempt to undress him. When I did he moved and kissed the bra-covered nipple, licked the cleavage, lightly bit my skin, making me almost lose my focus. Clearly he didn't want me to undress him.
If this was going to happen the way it was supposed to, skin on skin in heated passion, instead of skin on clothes in uncomfortable passion, I had to do something. Gently, but firmly, I turned us around so Remus was below me.
I sat up a bit, leaning on my arms and looking down on him, feeling that hard treat right behind me. His brown and grey hair fell away from his eyes, which were dark, almost black, with lust. I felt a stirring deep inside me, realising just how much I loved the man underneath me, how it had progressed so quickly in such a short time.
I leant down, pressing my lips to his quickly before I kissed every scar on his face, counting them in my head at the same time. Two long and four small. Then I proceeded to distract him by letting my tongue fight his for dominance. This gave me the opportunity to quickly unbutton his shirt and pull it to the side. Remus froze and broke the kiss, but I looked firmly into his eyes, shaking my head.
"Do you want to do this right or not?" I noticed that my voice was quite ragged.
He relaxed a little bit. I took that as an opportunity to completely remove the shirt, with a bit of his help.
He had several more scars across his chest and abdomen, more than I could count by looking at them. But instead of feeling disgust, which I knew I wouldn't, or pity, which I hoped I wouldn't, I felt even more turned on. A purring sound came from my throat.
Then I leaned forward again, wet my lips and planted them on Remus' chest, feeling his chest hair tickle me. He shuddered under me and relaxed completely. I went on and gave these scars the same treatment as those on his face. Kissing some of them, letting my tongue follow the rest of them from beginning to end. 5 long and painful looking, 33 smaller. Counting them helped me keep control over my actions and not melt into a puddle at the skin contact.
Remus' breath was quickening with every touch of my mouth, moaning every now and then. His hands grabbing the sheets under him, tighter the lower I got.
I loved having such power over him, I might enjoy being on top more than I realised.
I was now at the hem of his pants, having followed the small trail of hair down. Remus was now squirming under me. I smiled against him, unbuttoning his pants, pulling them slowly down. The clear evidence of his excitement was there, rising up in his underwear when the restriction of the pants was gone. I saw more scars on his legs, and bite marks.
He had to let me buy him the Wolfsbane potion.
On my way back up I slowly kissed his thighs, but before I came all the way up to his underwear, Remus seemed to have had enough. He roughly flipped us over again and attacked my mouth. At the same time he amazingly enough managed to remove my bra and unzip my shorts. The remaining clothes were gone so quickly I didn't have time to understand what he was doing. His own underwear was off in a rush and then he was on top of me again.
Like the gentleman he was, he stopped and looked into my eyes, his expression a little glazed. "Last chance to get out of this."
"Never," I whispered hoarsely, and smiled. "I'm all yours. Just take it easy on me."
"You've never done this before?" he asked disbelievingly.
I shook my head.
"You're giving me yo-" Remus sighed affectionately. "Completely sure?"
"Yes," I breathed and closed my eyes, steeling myself against the pain that would come.
Remus positioned himself at my entrance, I gasped at the feeling. Then he leaned down to kiss me. It was one of the most breathtaking kisses yet, it was like he was pouring his life into me and taking my life into him in return. I moaned against him, forgetting everything else, until I gasped in pain as something broke inside me.
He had pushed straight in, distracting me with the kiss, which I loved him for. I was certainly wet enough for him to manage it without trouble. We didn't move for several minutes, except for the gentle kisses Remus placed on my cheek.
The pain slowly subsided, I could feel him pulsate inside me, and I felt ready to go on. Signalling to Remus by moving my hips upwards, he began moving. I had expected it to be more pleasurable after the pain had gone, but it wasn't. It didn't hurt, far from it, because I was quite turned on, and it was Remus that was stroking my insides, but I could feel that it wasn't enough to let me orgasm. It was a little disappointing, after hearing the excited whispers of the girls at school, but now I had a feeling they had been lying slightly.
I moved with Remus, finding a rhythm together. He had his lips on my shoulder, sucking and kissing, marking me, biting lightly. I ran my hands through his hair, moaning, more from the pleasure his lips gave me than the act itself.
It didn't take long before I could tell that Remus was close to release, his jaw was set and he was moving jaggedly, clearly he was holding back to wait for me. But I knew I wouldn't come, no matter how long he could hold back, not this time.
"Let go, Remus," I whispered in his ear. "It's okay. Come for me, love. Come for me." I as good as breathed the last part, coaxing him to let his control go. I remembered something Tia had told me once, about clenching certain muscles and how the men loved it, so I tried it. Clenching and unclenching my inner muscles to the best of my limited ability, while gently nibbling on Remus' earlobe.
"I love you, Remus, come for me," I repeated. And it seemed like it was finally his undoing. His movements quickened for a few seconds, and I felt him spill inside me and heard him groan out my name. He then rested his head in the crook of my neck while he got his breath back.
I stroked his hair and his back, until he slipped out of me and rolled off. Even though it hadn't been as pleasurable as I thought it should be, I missed the feeling of fullness.
"I'm sorry I couldn't hold on any longer," he said and pulled some hair away from my face. "It's been ages and you're so beautiful it's hard to hold back."
I blushed and smiled. "It's okay, Remus. Don't worry. I did talk you into it."
He shook his head. "It's not okay. I'm sorry I couldn't make it more pleasurable for you."
"I didn't expect fireworks the first time," I told him. "We'll just have to try again. And again. And again. Practice makes perfect, isn't that what people say?" I was now smirking.
"I love you," Remus said and grinned, then kissed me. His hands began wandering down my body, creating a path of fire with his fingers. "I could still help you find pleasure tonight, if you want? If you're not too sore?" His voice was dangerously low in my ear.
My eyes fluttered close as he placed a gentle kiss on my left breast. His hands had stopped their wandering. One of them used the forefinger and the middle finger to 'walk' slowly down, past my navel and stop right before they reached the most interesting place.
"Do you want me to pleasure you?" The fingers were 'tripping' impatiently on the spot.
"Y-yes," I breathed, amazed at how turned on I still was. "Please."
But nothing happened. Remus lay completely still. In confusion I opened my eyes and looked at him. Clearly he had been waiting for that, because the moment we locked eyes he 'walked' all the way down and found my clitoris, making me arch against his hand and moan his name.
That simple touch made it feel like I hadn't just broken my hymen, like I hadn't just had sex for the first time without coming. All the blood rushed to the bundle of nerves Remus was gently rubbing between his fingers, and more wetness filled my vagina.
My hands were rubbing the sheets for something to do. But as Remus put a warm kiss on my right nipple they grabbed a fistful each. I opened my eyes to look at what he was doing. He was sucking and licking on my breast, the skin on my chest nothing but goose bumps. Suddenly his teeth grazed my nipple, and I sucked in a deep breath. His eyes met mine and I could see him smirk against my skin.
I let my gaze wander down the length of his arm, to where it ended between my thighs. I felt his fingers rub over my clitoris and down to my opening, never even half an inch inside. Then they came back up again. Up and down. Up and down. Sometimes he pinched the button on his way, sometimes he pressed hard against it. I was feeling so much pleasure I didn't know what to do with myself. That was when he changed gears.
Remus moved himself a bit closer to be able to reach my other breast, licking his way over. I could feel him begin to harden again against my thigh and it made exhilarated sparks shoot through me. His fingers made their way down towards my hole. At the same time his teeth bit down on my nipple, one of his fingers slipped inside. My entire back arched up. I held so tight to the sheets my hands hurt, except that I was so busy with other feelings that to notice it. A squeal of some sort left my throat, and I could hardly breathe.
I couldn't believe how sensitive I was. I was no stranger so masturbation, and had spent some very nice moments with my own hands exploring my nether regions. But this was so much more, so much better, so incredibly different.
Remus' finger moved slowly in and out as his lips went back and forth between my breasts. He used his teeth more and more, scraping at the skin, taking each nipple between his teeth and pulling. I didn't know what else to do than put my hands in his hair to make sure he never stopped.
A second finger slipped inside and I moaned at being filled up a bit more. His fingers were so delightfully long he could reach almost all the way in. Slowly, he pulled them almost all the way out, before moving back in a bit faster. Slowly out, faster in. Slowly out, faster in. Suddenly he curved them on the way out and found my g-spot.
I came so abruptly I couldn't even make a sound. My eyes squeezed shut, my mouth opened widely in a silent 'ah' and my entire body was strung tight like a rope being pulled at both ends. But the rush subsided quickly. I noticed that Remus wasn't kissing my breasts anymore and I opened my eyes. He was staring at me with lust filled eyes and a wondrous smile on his lips. Then he removed his fingers, I sighed at the loss. He put them into his mouth, licked them clean, and with a rough shove slid them back inside me. As far as he could reach.
He leaned towards me and captured my moan with a kiss. Out of curiosity I had tasted myself before, but I hadn't liked it. I tasted myself now, in the kiss. But I could also taste his semen, from earlier. Surprisingly, I liked the combination. Hungrily and without asking for permission I stuck my tongue into his mouth, searching for more of that sweet taste. He kissed me back with the same passion, our tongues wrestling together while his fingers moved faster with every stroke, curved with every outwards move, like he was digging for treasure.
We continued in this fashion for several minutes, only breaking the kiss to take a quick breath. Then he asked hoarsely against my lips: "Can you take a third finger?"
I nodded eagerly. My virginity was gone, there was nothing left to break and I wanted Remus to do whatever he wanted to me. "Yes, yes, yes," I replied breathlessly.
The third finger joined the other two and I could not imagine anything better at that moment. Again Remus attacked my breast, sparing nothing this time. It had to leave bruises, bite marks and love bites. He moved faster and faster inside me, long strokes with his long fingers. A thumb jabbing at my clitoris at every inwards move. I moaned and whimpered and made all kinds of incoherent sounds. Never had I been this vocal.
This time I could feel the orgasm coming. My breath was so quick and heavy I almost couldn't find enough oxygen to function. A warm tingle began in my toes. Remus' fingers moved faster, harder. The tingle travelled up my legs, my thighs and exploded around Remus' hand. I heard someone scream desperately. My body was rigid, fists hard at my side, head bent backwards. The explosion travelled up my body, blood pounding in my head, the nipple that Remus was pulling at so sensitive it almost hurt. It went back down again, and now I could feel my vagina contracting around Remus' fingers.
He slowed his movements as my orgasm subsided. Eventually my body relaxed and I was starting to get my breathing back. Remus still held his fingers deep inside me, but they were still now. I opened my eyes to look at him. He was smiling. I smiled too.
"I had no idea you could be this loud," he said. I heard arousal in his voice.
"I suppose I was the one screaming?" I asked. He nodded. "I heard, but I didn't know who it was or where it came from."
"It was all you, love." He slowly slid his fingers out of me. Now that all my senses were back to their regular jobs, I heard the wet sound as he withdrew. Once again he licked his fingers clean; he even licked most of his hand. Clearly I had leaked a bit.
"You're hard again," I commented, gently rubbing my thigh against his erection.
"How could I not be? With you being so gorgeous, tasting so amazing and being so vocal." He smiled. "But it's okay, it will settle down."
"After what you just did for me, I'm more than happy to help you," I offered. I felt some trepidation, having never used my hands or mouth on a man before, but very willing to try for Remus.
"Some other time, Niamh," he whispered, pulling me against him. "You're tired. I'm tired." He glanced out the window. "It's so late the sun is rising again. Let's get some sleep."
"If you're sure."
"I'm sure. Now that I have you, there's more than enough time to enjoy ourselves later. Good night. I love you, Niamh."
I looked up at his warm eyes, seeing his words reflected there. My heart almost burst with the same feelings. "Good night, Remus. I love you too."
He leaned down to kiss me. It was simple and quick, but just enough as I felt myself slip into oblivion. The last thing I knew was that Remus pulled the covers over us.
...
I slept deeply through the night, or rather the early morning. The sun was high through the window when I woke. It must be noon, or later.
Remus was still on his side, one arm under my head, the other lying in front of his face. I was facing him, both my hands in front of him, nearly touching his hand.
I suddenly remembered my parents. They must be aside themselves with worry. I said I didn't know when I would be back, but I should have called on them by now.
I carefully turned around to get out of the bed and do just that, when Remus stirred behind me. He pulled me back at the same time as he scooted closer, my back against his chest. Then I could feel his erection growing again, pressing against my butt. Warmth spread through me and wetness flooded my vagina. I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do.
Subconsciously I rubbed my butt slightly against him, and Remus groaned into my neck. I manage to twist my body around. He was wide awake, eyes darkening. Without thinking, I kissed him, hard. He responded in earnest. But then he suddenly broke away, and looked questioningly at me. I nodded. Then he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me onto my back. He positioned himself over me, guided his hardness towards my opening, and in one quick and efficient move, slid inside until he hit the bottom.
This time there was no pain, only immense pleasure. So much better than his fingers. We moved in perfect rhythm, both of us finding satisfaction together.
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