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A Wolf's Soul	By : sinfulsanctuary Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 2410 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
Epilogue

Remus turned 38 today. He hadn't wanted much of a celebration, and it hadn't been, couldn't have been. There is a full on war going on outside the walls of his childhood home, our home. No one really feel like celebrating anything. There had been too much tragedy and there was a tension in the air no matter what kind of day it was.

Still, I had tried to make this a good day for Remus. Earlier in the day Rubeus Hagrid and Bill and Arthur Weasley had popped by for a drink, with greetings from the rest of the Weasley family. Later I baked a cake and made a simple dinner for just Remus and me. We needed some joy in our lives, and what better way than to celebrate the wizard I love.

Remus had appreciated what I had done to mark the day. After dinner we had spent the evening sitting in each other's arms, listening to the Wireless and reading. The day ended in the bedroom, doing what we did best. Afterwards Remus had fallen dead asleep just like he did every night, exhausted from worrying, day in and day out.

Even though I was tired too, I couldn't sleep. Instead I lay awake, watching Remus' sleeping form, his deep, regular breaths reminding me that he was indeed alive for one more day. Occasionally I stroked his hair, touched his cheek, which was rough with stubbles. Reminiscing...

...

We had been together for nearly four years now. Despite the war, it had been the happiest time of my life. It hadn't always been easy, but we had managed so far.

Last summer I finished my Auror training. Remus had been afraid that my involvement with him would seriously lessen my chances of ever being accepted into the training programme. I agreed and we kept our relationship secret from the general public for a long time. That hadn't been easy.

Everything was made worse when Voldemort came back around the time I finished my first year of training. The Ministry refused to acknowledge this, so at Remus' recommendation, I had been asked to join the Order of the Phoenix. This meant that I had to work that much harder, but at least it meant we now had a group of acquaintances that could care less if I was Remus' girlfriend. They were even happy for us. It's only now that I'm a fully qualified Auror that I feel confident enough with mentioning that I am involved with Remus. I'm employed, excellent at what I do, and they need me, so they can't dismiss me.

The Order of the Phoenix, under the leadership of Headmaster Dumbledore, worked to defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters when the Ministry would not. When the Minister finally realised he had risen again, my Auror training was intensified, and the trainees were brought to real battles.

Not only was those three years in training hard on me physically, it was also hard economically. Hard work on very little pay, with Remus having odd jobs here and there on even less pay. It took its toll on our relationship. But we never left each other, no matter what came our way.

Truth be told, I couldn't function without him. I always thought I wanted a man that was independent and had his own life, someone I could be away from when the need came, so we wouldn't smother each other. I couldn't cope with being away from him too long, and he kept saying he needed me to remind him that he was human. Remus and I had been inseparable since we got together. Even when we were fighting over life or money or injustice, we went to bed each night being entirely civil, making love if the mood struck us, and then continue fighting the next day if we hadn't resolved our issues.

Our biggest fight had been over the Wolfsbane potion. It had been my greatest wish to buy it for him every month. But since it wasn't very profitable being an Auror trainee, I couldn't. I did get a small allowance from home while I was in training, but that wasn't enough either. I even begged my parents to give me more, to use on the potion alone, but for some strange reason they wouldn't give it to me.

But then Sirius Black came into our lives. Once I saw the great friendship between him and Remus, I went to Sirius for advice. I hoped he would give me pointers to cheap Apothecaries, or Potion Masters who were willing to make it for a cheap galleon or even free. But instead he said he would give me the money himself. Each month he would make sure a sufficient amount was transferred to my Gringotts account.

Sirius said he had thought about buying the Wolfsbane potion himself, but knew that Remus would never accept it. He was more optimistic about me giving it to Remus. So we decided I should say that my second year of Auror training paid more, to hide the increase of money.

Remus did accept the Wolfsbane potion from me. But he had been so angry once I told him that he had shouted at the top of his lungs and actually left. He had been gone for half a day, and I was worried out of my mind. But he came back around midnight, apologizing profoundly. That night I learned how incredibly hot make up sex could be.

After Sirius died, Harry Potter inherited all of his belongings and riches. Thankfully Harry agreed to let the monthly money transfer continue until we could afford it ourselves. Which we did last summer, when I became a fully trained Auror. The pay was amazing, and finally one worry and reason for fighting was gone.

...

Aside from the strain of too many worries and frustrations we had also experienced loss. When Voldemort had come back, during the end of the Triwizard Tournament, Sirius also came back to stay. Remus had been thrilled to finally get his old friend back. During that first year of the war, we practically lived at the headquarters of the Order, Sirius childhood home. So I got to see a little bit of how Remus and Sirius, and also James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, must have wreaked havoc at Hogwarts.

But during a battle at the Ministry, Sirius was murdered. Remus did not handle that well. He held up a brave face in public, but at home he would crumble like a child. It took months before he was himself again. I too, was devastated, but I hadn't known Sirius the way Remus did. And now he had lost his friend a second time.

Then, just a year later, Dumbledore had been murdered. Right at Hogwarts, by someone we thought was on our side. Professor Snape had been a spy for the Order, by being a former Death Eater he had access to Voldemort. And then Snape had suddenly killed Dumbledore. The Order dissolved, we lost our leader, and the war broke out in full. It was now every man for himself.

Shortly after that Mad-Eye Moody, my Auror mentor, was murdered. Bill Weasley's wedding was destroyed. The Ministry fell. Our Minister, my previous Auror Head, murdered after just a year in office. Harry and his friends disappearing, on a mysterious mission for Dumbledore.

And finally, just four months ago, both my parents were murdered. They had not been part of the Order, or the Auror Squad, but they did not hide what they felt about Voldemort's principles, in fact they took every opportunity to shout it from the roof tops. This got them killed. That had nearly been the end of me. The Mental Healer we had at the Auror Office sent me on sick leave for four weeks. If it hadn't been for Remus, I would have gone straight to Voldemort's lair and gotten myself killed in a crazy fit for revenge. But Remus kept me grounded, and sane, and proved himself worthy of being all the family I could need.

...

Just thinking about the pain, grief, stress and horror of the last few years made me feel even gloomier than what I usually felt these days. Needing to feel closer to Remus, I snuggled closer to him and gently kissed the corner of his lips.

His deep, slow breaths of sleep quickened slightly as he stirred. "Wha're you doin'?" he asked sleepily, with one eye open. "Why rn't you sleepin'?"

"I couldn't, too much on my mind. So I've been watching you sleep." I smiled innocently. "Thinking about how much I love you, how much I love us."

"Love you too." He was a bit more awake now.

I leaned down to kiss him again.

"If you keep doin' that, you won' sleep at all."

"Is that a promise?" I asked playfully before I kissed him a third time. Lingering for a few seconds, feeling him actually waking up completely next to me.

Suddenly he sprang up and pinned me beneath him. I squealed in surprise and began laughing. But he quickly shut me up with a mind blowing kiss, both feeling excitement bubble like lava between us, and with a shove of his hips we were joined in pleasure.

For now I enjoyed myself, drowning in his love, the vibration between us stronger than ever. Remus had managed to distract me from the depressing thoughts of war and tragedy, but the uncertainty of tomorrow always lingered in the background. Never knowing if this was our last night together, never knowing who we would lose next.
- 18
- 19
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A Wolf's Soul