Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

...After Happily Ever After	By : Lissa & snowblind12 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 25757 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Harry Potter or J.K. Rowling. I make no money off of these stories. This is just fun for me.

Chapter List
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READ ME REAL QUICK! Apparently the plot bunnies were not done with this chapter. I jumped the proverbial gun and posted too soon. I've done a complete edit today and added almost 800 words. Please take a moment to re-read. I answered the reviews I got in the last 24 hours at the very end.

AN: Yes, I know how excrutiatingly short this chapter is. I'm sorry. I will do better the next time as they will be returning to Hogwarts. More Lizzie and Draco soon, too.
Oh, how I love reviews. I would so so so much like to hear from more of you. Review responses below! xLD
Chapter Twenty-Five
January 9th, 1999
Severus’s thirty-ninth birthday came and went with little pomp and circumstance. Not that he minded – he’d never been very big on birthdays. He had, however, been very surprised and pleased that Hermione had even remembered, let alone the fact that she did her best to make the day special. She woke him with a simple breakfast in bed, which they had shared in comfortable companionship. Then they took a lazy shower together, soft caresses and care the main goal of the endeavor. They spent the rest of the morning in his study, snuggled on the davenport, going through the latest potions journal. She begged off lunch, insisting she needed to rest and he had watched her go with concerned eyes, though he couldn’t disagree with her need for sleep.

After a light lunch and a couple of hours putting around in his basement lab, he had gone to join her. He hadn’t intended to sleep, but after only a few moments, he succumbed to the pull of oblivion only to wake to the smell of some sort of confectionary deliciousness wafting through his house. His house. He hadn’t even known the oven still worked.

He found her in the kitchen, drizzling glaze on a lemon poppy seed cake. She met his stunned expression with a shy smile. “One of the house elves at Hogwarts told me it’s your favorite,” she whispered, eyes shining. He just shook his head with a crooked smirk.

“You’re spoiling me,” he told her.

“You deserve to be spoiled.”

They ordered Chinese take away, which he picked up, and had another quiet evening. They settled back into the study after eating. Severus sat in one of the large wing-backed chairs by the fire reading; Hermione at his desk, school work sprawled. He watched her covertly from across the room as the hours ticked by. Two hours into her work, she kept nodding off even though it was only about nine o’clock.

“To bed, pet.” He insisted the third time her head bobbed.

“Mm,” she protested. “I haven’t given you your present.” He was floored.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Hermione.”

“Nonsense. I’ve had it since before Christmas – because you wouldn’t let me give you a Christmas present.” She disappeared upstairs for a moment and came back with a wrapped box that would appeal to any Slytherin and a nervous expression.

Inside was a beautifully carved Cherrywood box that was hinged and locked. After she handed him a brass key, he opened it to find an antique set of Potion knives ranging from sharpened stone and obsidian to silver, steel, and gold. The handles were carved ebony with intricate patterns. He was deeply moved and fought a tightness in his chest for several minutes before her question pulled him into a response.

“Do you like them?” Her tone was anxious.

“They’re too much.” He shook his head in wonder. They were positively exquisite. He couldn’t imagine what they had cost.

“Don’t worry about that,” she murmured. “Do you like them?”

“I love them. I don’t think I have ever received such a thoughtful gift.” Truth was, he hadn’t received a real gift since he was a young child, and those had been few and far between.

Her pleasure in his response was palpable. “I saw them and just knew I had to get them for you. There’s a detailed history of them buried under the padding. They’re just fascinating. They belonged to a – ”

He broke her off with a firm kiss on her still moving lips. “They’re perfect,” he insisted, knowing her mouth was running because she had been nervous he wouldn’t like them. “Let’s go to bed, love.”

He didn’t miss the audible swallow she gave or the way her eyes darted away from him. Her face drained of all color and he realized what she thought he meant. “Hermione.” He set the box of knives on the coffee table and tilted her face back to look her in the eye. “Hermione, no,” he said softly. “I do not expect anything from you. Please don’t be worried, swee…pet,” he just barely caught himself and she flinched slightly. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, sidetracked. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I will not pressure you, I will not ask for anything from you. When you are ready, just let me know. Until then, I don’t want you to worry. I’m a grown man. I love you. I will be patient.”
Her eyes flooded with a mix of relief and regret and she nodded her understanding. “Thank you.”
January 22^nd, 1999

Somehow, she had known it would come to this, but that hadn’t stop the overwhelming feeling of deep panic and failure that swirled through her body. She held the little stick she had been able to sneak the last time she and Severus had picked groceries up at the convenient store together in disbelief.
Her period did not come on day twenty-nine as it should have. When it didn’t show up on day thirty, she tested with her wand the first time. After the tip had turned gold three days in a row, she knew she needed a muggle test before she would truly believe it. The pink plus sign taunted her.
She was pregnant. The little white plastic stick she had just peed on let her be sure. Her entire body started to shake in denial as nausea clawed up her throat. She chucked the test in the waste paper basket and just made it to the toilet in time. Her stomach expelled the little bit of water and bile it held (because, of course, Hermione being Hermione, she followed the directions to a tee and used her first urination of the day).
If she was honest with herself, she had known it would end this way. She had just prayed she was wrong. She retched again, gagging and sputtering. Large, cool hands were suddenly in her hair pulling it back from her face as another dry heave wracked her body. She spat and coughed multiple times before wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her robe. When she was sure they wouldn’t continue, she sat back against him. He conjured a glass of water wandlessly and she took a few moments to rinse her mouth and spit the water into the toilet before draining the glass in a few deep gulps. He smoothed sweat from her brow before bunching her hair to one side as she slumped back again.
She sat in stunned silence for a few heartbeats. For the first time since the previous summer, she wished he wasn’t with her. She felt humiliated, dirty, tainted. To see the look in his eyes on this morning would be horrible. She had begged him to help her with this possibility and she just knew he would feel obligated to follow through. She was terrified this would destroy them.
His fingers continued to smooth her hair, the other hand ran lightly over her shoulder. She knew he was just waiting for her to say it. She took a deep breath.
“I’m pregnant.” Her tone was dead and clipped, it sounded defeated. When had she become so weak?
Both hands stilled for a tick of time before continuing their ministrations. “I’ve always wanted to be a father.” There was no hesitancy in his response.
Her eyes filled with tears as his arms wrapped around her from behind, settling her back more deeply into his arms. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered. “What if it’s obvious that it’s not yours?”
“I will love the child anyway, because it will be yours.” He made it sound so simple.
And maybe it was that simple, but the declaration of unconditional love for a child that might not even be his pulled sobs out of her in waves. She tried to pull away from him as they tore through her body, but he tightened his hold on her and let her cry. She didn’t know how long they sat there on the cold bathroom tile, his arms supporting her – it felt like a lifetime. She cried for herself and the horrors she had endured. She cried for Severus and the pain that life kept inflicting on him at every turn. She cried for the unborn child in her womb and the circumstances surrounding its existence. She cried because two things in her recent life that should have been so incredibly joyous had been stripped of that happiness. She cried for the unfairness of it.
While she cried, she waited for him to change his mind, to tell her he couldn’t stay. To tell her she was disgusting and damaged and impure. To tell her he could never love a child that may have been fathered by a rapist. But he just continued to hold her more tightly and rock her gently as he rested his chin on the top of her head, murmuring soothing, undecipherable words of comfort.
When she lay spent in his arms, he finally spoke. “The conception of this child does not matter to me.” He told her in his deep, resonating voice that was balm to her wounds. “What matters to me is that you and I are together. That we love each other and we will love this child. We will raise the child to be kind, and intelligent, and good. We will never let the child know what their true origin might be.”

He tilted her chin up and waited until her eyes hesitantly met his. They shimmered with pain and residual tears and horrors he’d never understand completely and it brought his fury to the surface. He held it in as tightly as he could. “I am this child’s father, Hermione. I am. No one will ever tell us anything different.” She gave a small gasp as his hands slid around her middle, cupping the nonexistent swell of her tummy in his palms and contracting his fingers there lightly, possessively. “This baby is mine. You…you are mine. No one will ever take that away from me – ever again. Do you understand? I love you, and we will be fine. I promise.” His face was severe, determined. It demanded her surrender to him even as it compelled her love for him to strengthen. Only the very best of men could say what he had just said to her, and she knew this. Their eyes held for a very long time before she gave a short, jerky nod. He pulled her to him by the nape of her neck a kissed her fiercely.

The tears came again, but this time with relief and peace.
Severus coaxed her back into bed in relative silence and control. He was able to keep the anger out of his eyes, the vehemence off of his face, but he was sick with it. As soon as she was settled and starting to doze again, he slipped out of their bed and through the house. The rage was making every muscle in his body quiver like a bowl of Jell-O sitting on top of washing machine set to the spin cycle. He was able to descend two flights of stairs, sealing and silencing the basement door behind him. He was in control enough to cast a silencing spell on the ceiling and vents of the small, dank room before his anguish and heartache overtook him.
The roar that came out of him would have made a class of first years wet their pants as a collective. It reverberated back to him, bouncing off surfaces and the damp stone of the walls. Then he started smashing things. Vials of completed potions were shattered, cauldrons smashed and dented, ingredients toppled, notes flying. He turned over his work desk, shattering an old photograph of his mother and himself from when he was very young. He seriously considered starting the room on fire. The rage and fear was consuming him, being burned alive would probably not be any different, right? The howls that left him grew in intensity until his vocal chords felt raw and shredded.
He crossed the room and threw a punch into the cement blocks of the wall. It felt so good that he let it slam into the stone over and over again until his knuckles were broken and the skin surrounding them mashed to a bloody pulp. He didn’t feel pain; instead, the sensation helped ground his whirling thoughts and calm his roiling stomach.
His words had been very pretty and just what she needed – he knew this. His obsessive desire to protect her in any way he could had somehow dragged out a sensitive, intuitive side of himself that was able to say all the right things at all the right times. And it wasn’t as if he had lied to her; far from it. He was more deeply in love with her than he cared to admit. Her strength through these horrors had only endeared her to him more. He would love the child because it would be a part of her even if it wasn’t a part of him – but it could be his. He held onto that thought like a life line. It could be mine.
So rooted were his feelings for her, he had the need to avenge her honor like a dark vigilante hell bent on revenge for all the wrong doings of the world. So excruciatingly painful was his guilt of not protecting her the way she had needed him to the first time that he could barely breathe due to the weight of it pressing on his chest.
He knew he was being foolish, she did not blame him. What happened was not his fault. However, he couldn’t seem to help but blame himself. How had he survived almost twenty years as a spy and double agent only to fail the woman he loved within months of the beginning their relationship?
As much as she insisted she was okay, as much as she put on a brave face and continued to participate in the day to day with admiral courage, he knew she was cracked. Not as broken as the men who taken her had wanted her to be, but broken nonetheless. The fire in her eyes was a bit duller, the passion of her mind had quieted, the bounce in her step and her endless energy was no longer overflowing. He knew it would come back as she healed, (and he was determined she would heal, he wouldn’t let her drown) but it broke his heart to watch her barely existing as she was.
The news of the pregnancy was not unexpected, but devastating in its own right. On top of all the other horrors her young life had held, it would now include an unwanted teenage pregnancy and motherhood before her time. Things that would change her path in life drastically. He vowed to do whatever she needed of him to make it easier.
He came back to himself and surveyed the damage of the room. It was well and truly destroyed, but his mind and emotions were back in his own control. He looked at his mutilated hand with indifferent scrutiny before pulling his wand out of his pocket and muttering the incantations to set it right before turning his attention to fixing his lab.
Misstress: Thank you for your love. I'm so glad you're finding Severus to your liking and his action appropriate. I'm also so excited you agreed with me on my choices for his wand. It's a pleasure to hear from you, as always.
LittleStranger: No worries on your absence. It happens! Life is just life, sometimes.

I'm thrilled you liked the speech Harry gave. Those long monologues can be very difficult to write because you have to try so hard to keep them in character and give them justice. I'm glad you think he did well. I loved his proposal to Ginny.
Draco does not know his father is part of this ring of resistance wreaking havoc on Muggle-borns. He's been told by his mother that they were going to renounce the old way and was so relieved. He had already began to doubt his upbringing well before the end of the war. It will not be good for the Malfoy's when the news breaks that Lucius was a part of Hermione's torment. I adore Lizzie and Draco, there will be more of them to come, very soon.

Thank you for your love on SS. He is so incredibly hard to write and I always hope I'm doing him justice. He's a little more affectionate in this story than I think he would be in Canon, but I'm trying.
I'm relieved you felt the Death Eaters were realistic. I think I'm bad at writing the bad guy. lol
I'm thrilled you liked the hospital chapter. I was super freaking proud of that chapter. It took a LOT of edits to get it just right.
I appreciate you taking the time to review. Reviews make the plot bunnies happy! I always try my best to reply to reviews because they keep my audience engaged and it's nice to get personal with an author.

If I ever make it to Germany, I will let you know!!!

Much love, LD.

Snowblind: I answered you in a PM over on FF.net, which I know you know. But again, thank you so so so much for all your wonderful reviews. They certainly made me bubbly. xLD.
Edit Review Responses:
Snowblind 12: Thank you!!! As always.
Nightstar: Yes, ma'am. Angst galore. lol Thanks for sticking by!
BookAddict: Yes. That is were I was going with this. His strength. I would aboslutely love to hear your theories! Please share!! :o* Thanks for the review! I hope the addition to this chapter keeps you pleased.

xLD
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...After Happily Ever After