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An Unexpected Planet	By : chkokt Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Ron/Lavendar Views: 8850 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
A/N: Okay here is the rest of Chapter 2. Just like I promised, LOL late but here. Please send any criticism in the review section, though I would rather have praise I need you great readers to teach me how to tell a story. Develop an idea and write a basic sentence. Yeah its a lot but thats why I am here for the story and the sex. :) Bit by bit its getting racier so enjoy! Peace Chkokt. In the second act the tale will turn decidedly unPC so under 18 don't even get started cause you can't read the end.

Chapter 2: Up, Through the Trapdoor: part 2

   *
Lavender coyly admired Pavarti’s suppleness, as she joined Padma by the staircase. Padma had always been jealous of Lavender ever since first year, but it was to be expected sibling rivalry and all. Lavender loved Padma too, even if Padma hadn’t realize that Lavender wasn’t a threat to her sisterly relationship. That in fact that she viewed them more as step sister, who shared a half sister, bonded and connected by the strongest of love. Lavender didn’t worry, when Padma gave her the stink eye as she folded Pavarti into her protective arms; soon she would know that she shared the same sisterly love for Pavarti as well as her.
As Lavender leaned against the wall as couple of seventh year senior boys, did blatant  double take as they passed her. The taller of the two nodded his head and smirked that cocky boy smile at her. Winked knowingly. She knew by the way he smiled that his bravado was all for his pal; and not at all about the girl. To him she was just an object something to own to use and discard.
Lavender realized she was an early bloomer, just as her Mother had explained what all that idea entailed. As she lowered her hands to the pointy ends of her Gryffindor vest, she pulled the vest down hard and fast, drawing her the fabric taunt, flattening down the front. Both boys had nudged each other to watch the impressive show the fourth year didn’t realize she was giving. Just as nonchalantly she released the corners of her vest with a snap, Never once looking away from Padma and Pavarti.
Lavender’s vest snapped in place making her chest spring full formed, bouncing up and down, jiggling uncontrollably until everything settled normally. Too devastating effect.
The two seventh years students were so caught up with what was happening with Lavender breast, they missed the most important element of walking down stairs… the first step! The first seventh year, lost his footing, stumbled, waving his arms in a whirling fashion like a baby learning helplessly to walk, his books and spell bag airborne, their contents flying everywhere.
The taller seventh year, the one that leered and winked at her, stooped just in time to heed the warning of his falling buddy. Unfortunately he wasn’t far enough back to avoid the clutching grasp of his unbalanced friend. And just like dominoes the two seventh year gawkers went down the exit staircase, their silver and green scarves tangled around them like boxing day ribbon. Bags, books, inks and scrolls. Tumbling, twisting, crashing end over end, the two boys dropped right out of sight.
Lavender imagined the two crumpled in a heap at the bottom of the steps, like a sack of stupid, wrapped two a bags of idiocy. Lav smiled as her trick payed off. It was a weapon in the arsenal that her mother taught her over the summer. ‘Served you right.’ She smiled. ‘You boys should’ve been paying attention to where the hell you’re going, instead of objectifying an innocent junior student.’ Lupin might have been the best DA professor they had ever had; but Lavender, Mother was the best DE, Defense Against the Erotic Arts, teacher. It was a gender war; her Mom explained and she was making damn sure her daughter was going to win it.
Lavender’s Mom was no fool. She noticed how her daughter’s body had sprung, like Venus on the half shell, fully formed from the froth of a few months, over the summer. Lav had gained her womanly assets way earlier than the others girls in her class. It was her job to teach her how to handle the unwanted responsibility. Arm her child against the danger and beauty of being a woman. Under her Mother’s tutelage; Lavender grew from being embarrassed about her changes; to embracing those same changes, appreciating what a gift, and power, Ghea had bestowed upon all womankind.
Lavender verified what her Mom had taught her first hand, shortly after she returned to Hogwarts for her fourth year. She reinvented herself in a classy style, emitted the air of sensuality her mother taught her. Listening on the winds for what the school buzzed about her. Based on what she had over heard by a group of teachers’ talking as they crossed the school grounds. Thinking the kids were all out of earshot: they describe how Lavender’s body was “… an ample time-stopper shaped, hour glass figure…” And how they each wanted, “… two or three turns on that dial.” Whatever a time-stopper was, Lavender didn't know, but her mother made sure she knew what ‘turns on the dial’ meant.

A time-stopper must have been a pretty shapely object because Lavender owned her busty chest and head turning hips. The teachers all grinned and laughed lustfully in agreement when they referred to her as a time-stopper after that. They thought she didn’t understand but Lavender was sharp. Sheepishly she giggled, remembering how she had embarrassedly felt a slight bit of pride knowing she held that effect on boys and especially men.
“Men.” She said as the hoots and laughter over the fallen kids sailed up and back into the corridor. The rest of the crowd of students cheered. It wasn’t often that seventh year Slytherine’s got their comeuppance. ‘Strike one.’ she giggled, a small skirmish before the war ahead of her.
Her Mom’s warnings about the dangers of trifling with her abilities, her powers… playing with men’s emotions. She ignored them because this was war. Lavender still was young, and as often is want, warnings go unheeded by the young all over the world. Muggle and magical alike. In this Lavender was no different.
   Lavender noted, like her Mother had noticed in her the previous summer; how the twins were also coming into a very healthy “fruit” of their own. Their twin bodies, matching bookends of verging sexuality.
Especially Pav, Pavarti; Lav expected no less from her soul-twin. Unlike Padma her twin; Pavarti seemed to own her naturally sexy walk. With every step, the seductive back and forth swaying of her tight little curvy hips. Lavender observed on several occasions how her best friend, Pavarti's hips dipped in, cupped under, and swayed naturally in a lazy figure eight motion.
Her tight skirted butt tucked under, in an odd fashion which begged any person watching, to pay attention. It was Lavender's idea to shrink their kits. And it drove Lavender just as wild, as she knew it did all the boy that saw them walking past. Padma had the same identical shape as Pavarti, but she hadn't seized control of her sexiness, released the goddess that was chained inside of her, not like Pav had.
She was still shamed by it, Padma didn't own it, which again was obvious to Lav, but she could… and Lavender wanted to show Padma how, just like she had done for Pavarti.
Maybe she '…could…', Lavender thought with a sneaky little smile. Lavender watched the two of them get swallowed up in the last of the swarm of exiting students.
   Lavender really had wanted Pav to drop it. Let her get on with the task assigned her. Pav’s pestering didn’t fall on deaf ears like she pretended. Lav had heard every word. Chewed them up in her mind and spat out the bitter idea; that if she walked away they would have gotten away with something, won the skirmish. No Pavarti’s word had fallen on determined ears.
Until determined ears, and Lavender’s direct stare signaled to her soul-twin, she had, had enough! Pavarti had, had enough too. The raven haired witch turned and stormed off to join her natural twin. Lavender didn’t feel betrayed, wasn’t worried about their disagreement; their friendship was stronger than any tiff. They were true soul-twins after all.
Lavender secretly knew that their's was a tighter bond then, that of even born twins… Nervously Lavender'd hoped so.
Pavarti would come around eventually— But for now Lavender Brown had eyes for nothing else but the two wayward boys engaged in a stupid slap fight just under the divination class. Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter.
   Lavender accepted the sly grin as it slipped onto her face; as she stifled a broader contemptuous smile fighting underneath the surface trying to get free. Suppressing her trademark constant giggle, was harder.
It was the same type of giggle so often emitted by cheeky little girls’, all over at that age; A cocky foreshadowing; ‘I know what’s coming and you don’t…’ sound. Lavender didn’t want to tip her hand with a giggle. She was guilty of this trait more so than the other Hogwarts students’ combined. Why? Because she was sensitive to prophetic vibrations, she felt them, knew them. Thats why she loved divination, she was lucky. For that reason Lav always knew that what she was doing was right.
As Lav clutched her divination and astrology books tighter against her chest for greater strength. Her fingers paled white with the effort. The books flattening her ample cleavage, as she feared her heart was going to beat right through all of her clothes, right on through her books and arms alike. Lavender screwed her courage in place. She planted her feet and squared her shoulders and held her head up boldly and proud. Stepping forward head long into her destiny, the Goddess that is Lavender Brown— was committed.

*
Harry saw Lavender and Pavarti looking back and forth at him and Ron, from over by the pillar where they stood. Animated and engaged; across the wide divide of the entrance hall of the North Tower he could tell something wasn’t right. He didn't let Ron know, because the two witches were arguing and as long as they were engaged with each other they were safe from another possible row. Knowing Ron like he did somehow that boy would get in the middle of whatever the two of them were fighting about and draw their unwanted attention all to himself.
But he wondered silent about the two witches as Ron babbled on about what a fuckhead Seamus was:
What had gotten Pavarti so upset? Why was Lavender so fixated on them? Was she planning to curse them because of Ron joke? Surely she wasn’t dumb enough to think she could get away with it with all these people around? Maybe thats it… Harry thought as he fidgetted and looked around at the thinning crowds; ‘May she’s just waiting till the crowd goes away and they’re all left alone in the entrance. Then she would be able to curse until her hearts content.
Harry needed to get him and Ron, the hell out of there before it was too late. It was easier said then done. Harry tried to lead his mate away but Ron stood firm where he stood by the ladder.
“Harry are you listening to me? I said am not leaving this spot until everyone has left… they want to massacre me out there!” Ron said.
“Come on Ron, nobody thinking about that at all.” It was a lie.
“Yeah right.” Ron scoffted. Harry was pissed why did his dense friend now of all the times had to become insightful. He couldn’t even read a phone book but now he could read the people around him. But to be fair Harry knew Ron never encountered a phone too often, let alone a muggle phone book. Harry grabbed Ron’s arm. Not time for explanations…
“Paws off mate… I said, I ain’t going.” Stubbornly Ron yanked his arm free of his friend and took a few steps back towards the silver winding ladder in defiance. Dropped his books and spell bag. All the while amused at Harry’s ham-fisted way of trying to get him to do things. This was just another game of wills. Harry’s “go” Vs Ron’s “stay”!
‘Game on bitch.’ Ron thought as he took a silly ass overly exagerrated defensive pose. Like Harry explained the hero took in those muggle video games. Bouncing around, Harry watched and sighed, he knew Ron was an idiot.
‘Oh this was bad, real bad,’ Harry thought. “Come on… Ron… quit it…” the two boys got into a classic slap fight. Harry trying to grab hold of him move him out before Lavender did… whatever she was planning. Ron resisted, laughingly, not too gently slapping Harry’s hands away every time one came close to getting a purchase on him.
It happened so fast, the argument didn't last long. It abruptly ended, Harry saw Pavarti leave in a huff and without a beat Lavender fixed her gaze on them… then she started right over in their direction. ‘Shit’ he cursed, ‘…too late now. I just gotta tell the poor slob.’ Harry thought. Lavender was between them and the entrance/exit from North Tower. Ron wasn’t good with female confrontation, and he was worse still with an ambush, which Harry now knew that this was. “Heads up mate… here comes Lavender."
The color drained from Ron's face as he slowly stopped pedal slapping away the phantom hands in the air. It was obvious he wasn’t ready for a row with Lavender, especially free of a teacher’s supervision; around to temper the anger he knew the young witch possessed. "…Shit…" Ron mumbled as he tried to step behind Harry putting his friend directly in the line of fire. Ron loved Harry, and would take an unforgivable curse for him in a heartbeat: but he was a real chicken shit when it came to facing women, especially angry witches.
Harry shook his head. "Buck up Ron, you knew this was gonna happen." Harry spoke softly so as the approaching Lavender couldn't hear, but loud enough he could still be heard over Ron's constant, mumbling, stream of expletives. "If you think about it… better here than in the common room tonight, where you know who might over hear."
"I know… just…" Ron said pitifully, knowing the one person he definitely didn't want to get wind of todays events, the one person that would surely curse him into a pile of rags.
"Well at least, mostly everybody's gone and it'll just be you two…" Harry said, noticing the thinning crowd, people all hurrying off to their last class before evening supper.
" You can't leave me Harry! Please" Ron begged as he clutched at his pal's robe. Ron's grip desperately tight, like a drowning man clutching his only line of hope. Harry placed his hand on his friends and pried the iron bars that were his fingers apart.
"Get a grip Weasley, she's almost here." Harry looked into the red head's doey brown eyes as they started to mist. Ron was scared. No way he could leave him, even if Harry knew in his heart of hearts that Ron deserved ever bit of the tongue lashing he knew Lavender was going to give him.
Ron gathered himself, assured that Harry wasn't going any where got ahold of himself and stepped out of Harry's shadow. Composed Ron had regained his swagger… Harry knew it was a bad move, but that was Ron.
Both boys slumped with resignation when they saw the mousey brown haired witch crossing the great stone corridor. Her steps ringing off the cobble stones as she got closer. Ron and Harry tried to ignore Lavender; much in the same way they had tried to ignore Hermione in their first year; when Hermione was in her "…insufferable know it all!" phase. Again it was Ron's mouth that got them in trouble then, as now. Harry had to admit that the mishap with Hermione; led the three of them into a life or death bathroom battle with a full grown mountain troll, which Harry was reminded, barely turned out okay. Yet the encounter really cemented the trios friendship forever. Made them inseparable. Neither boy was looking for that kind of an entanglement again, nor could wish for that type of an outcome. Bonding was clearly, not what they saw Lavender had in mind.
Harry was transfixed by Lavender, to the point he almost missed what Ron was saying.
"Really? 'Uranus…Your, Anus!' bollox, Harry, what was I thinking?" Ron said as he remembered everyone glaring around at him before leaving the class. "Doesn't seem quite as funny now. Everybody mad at me because Trelawney, the revengeful old bat, added all that homework. Seamus the twit should have kept his mouth shut… Like I knew she would hear me." He rambled.
Seeing that it was Ron's big mouth again that caused them all so much problem. Harry didn't have sympathy for Ron, he had to do the damn homework too. Harry, like Ron, knew the entire class would be lucky to get down to the great hall for supper tonight; let alone find any extra time to get out on the quidditch pitch this weekend. Not with the regular, already doubled up, workload of a fourth year.
"Now what does she want? Hasn't she caused me enough trouble today?" Ron scowled, as he watched, coming right at him Lavender Brown. "That daft bird, I mean honestly." He sighed exasperated, Ron knew that he was in for a right proper bollocking, deep down the gangly boy knew he had earned her telling him off.
"To be 'honest', Ron how's that fair?" Harry asked calmly. "Lavender didn't do anything but pull a "Hermione" and get all excited about her divination class work." Harry attention wandered he also watched Lavender approached. Wishing all the while an arrant spell would whoosh by forcing Lavender to drop her books, and show Harry the real reason he was taking her side in the argument.
"Yeah… well… still, its irritating when Hermione does it too." Ron grumbled as he tried to counter argue with Harry. Knowing defeat Ron simply gave up and resigned his anxiety to the tension in his gut; knowing the rant the girl wizard was surly coming over to deliver. And just like with Hermione Ron had a way of really pissing off girls. Given the 'personal' nature of the joke and the way too 'public' display, he made of it; it was no wonder Lavender waited for them till after divination class. 'You can't really work up a curse, riddled, rant with your favorite teacher in the room.' Ron thought and feared.
Tearing his eyes away from his pending doom, Ron was not happy to see Harry so moon-eyed over the harpy heading their way.
"You're no saint either mate!" Ron nudged Harry hard, his bony elbow digging in to get his attention. "I see the way you're always gawking at her bits." It was a low blow. But Ron was good for nothing right now, if not that. Harry smiled, blushed shyly, sure that his buddy was more than right. Slightly satisfied now that Lavender was going to let him have it.
Lavender was almost on them. Deservedly, Ron was petrified with fear… His false bravado fading with each clop of her heel on the stone floor. Turning to Harry a pleading confession— as if that would absolve him of his consequences. "Bloody hell. I just liked watching the way her arse looked when she bent over the poufs … I swear Harry it slipped out of me before I even knew what was happening." Ron whispered, pleadingly. "Harry, do something?"
Ron looked balefully at Harry. Ron knew his mate couldn't do anything to help. Nothing except stand beside him for moral support. Still they both knew he had it coming. Then she was there! The only thing between Ron and Lavender was Harry Potter. The white noise of his own blood and heart beat claimed Ron's hearing.
It was a few seconds before Ron even realized Lavender's lips were moving, while no sound was coming out. He looked over at Harry to confirm this peculiar aspect. But his mate was again fixated on Lavender; yet for different reasons altogether. And Ron knew why, as he tracked the target of Harry's gaze right over to Lavender's ample chest. Breast that heaved up and down in her white class shirt, bound tightly in her Gryffindor vest. Harry, Ron and a gang of the other Gryffindor boys all theorized that Lavender's kit, her uniform, was actually two sizes, too small. Ron too stared at the Hogwarts emblem on her the vest pocket as her heavy breathing forced it to rise up and down. Casting a hypnotic spell neither boy could resist wondering about the mysteries underneath.
The deafening spell created by Ron's panic, that had robbed him of focus was eased by his desire— Somehow the spell broke; and Lavender's yelling broke through. He didn't hear all of what she had said earlier; it didn't matter to him anyways, Ron got the gist of things. She was P.O'ed.
Ron finally found himself free to respond, his usual not to pleasant tone and cheek firmly in place, "We were just taking the piss out, is all..." Ron said feebly, trying to cover up his lustful stares. "Cut us some slack, Lavender it was just a joke."
Lavender just held the boys with her silence, Ron's crude response irritated her even further. A glowering stare, a stare that reminded them each, of another young studious little witch that wouldn't put up with it. This was the second time Lavender's action reminded them of Hermione. Hermione was the only other one in their class, they knew, who could cower a person with just a silent stare. The only difference between the two witches was when Lavender tapped her foot in frustration, her whole body got into the act. Her wiggling waves weren't lost on either boy…nor on the pissed off girl.
"Seriously… seriously is that some sort of an apology? You’re a right rutty oinker Weasley!" Lavender's voice boomed out loud and clear. As quick as a snitch the witch raised her book laden arms and slammed everything to the ground. The resounding crash was loud, it echoed through out the empty corridor. Startled, both Ron and Harry jumped back a step at the flash of physical violence Lavender displayed.
They thought the little wizard could be contained but now they had a wildcat on their hands. Placing her hands on her hips, Lavender leaned into the the two boys her fury tangible, unpredictable, menacing.
Disconcerted both guys looked about, relieved that the short attention span of their fellow classmates' quickly took them elsewhere. What was interesting about boys getting told off by a witch, that was nothing new at Hogwarts. Soon the three of them were the only students remaining by the divination ladder. The now emptied hall left them to enjoy Lavender's constantly undulating body of the mad little witch. Ron and Harry were so enamored by Lavender that they never saw from where she produced the piece of parchment she was shaking madly in Ron's face. "Take it!"
Not for the first time, Ron noticed how "fit" the girl was standing in front of him; her out stretched hand waving frantically. Clutching the parchment tighter than it should be, creating a brisk breeze that swept over Ron.
Lavender's brown eyes dangerously narrowed with contempt as she knew what both idiots was thinking.
Irked, Ron blushed, having been caught again objectifying Lavender his face reached a nice rosy red. Harry for his part as always was composed, a bit more subtle in his gawking.
"Go on now, you great git! Take it!" She said directly at Ron pushing the rolled up scroll forward.
Harry spotted the trembling in Lavender's hand, she tried to hide her true feelings with the exaggerated motions, waving the parchment. But Harry had a seeker's eyes, he noticed those true and subtle telling signs that told more about how nervous Lavender really was— Ron, not so much.
Ron ignored 'the trap' that was happening with Lavender's upper area as her heart fluttered with anger and adrenaline. He even ignored the accompanying sighs emanating from his stalwart mate; 'Some rubbishy support he was.' He thought before Ron he said,
"What…?" Scaring Lavender with the unexpected force and speed, Ron snatched the scroll from her hand. Ron unwrapped the scrolled parchment, its stiff dried paper sound graded his nerves. Inspecting the scroll, he turned it over to see the ornate scrawl on the paper. As best as he could, Ron read Trelawney's handwriting. The sickly little hearts above the 'i' was a touch too much, for a teacher of her stature. But Trelawney was always a bit behind in all regards.
"It your detention letter." Lavender said as she leaned back beaming with satisfaction, her hands balled in to little fists, which she then placed on her hips in a triumphant nature."Pavarti and I reminded her before the end of class, I stayed back to give it to you personally." Lavender responded with a bit more happiness than Ron thought the situation warranted.
'I mean…' he thought, 'She's a fellow Gryffindor, Fat lot that did.' The gender wars transcended houses he supposed. Lavender giggled at Ron's astonishment as she watched him peruse the letter. Even now Harry Potter was looking over Ron shoulder reading the contents:
.
Ronald Bilious Weasley;
Your presence is required in the Divination Class on the evening of Monday, after dinner in the Great Hall for detention. You will be washing, polishing and otherwise cataloging and organizing the tea cup collection. Your detention will be viewed as completed when the scrolls are filed in the offices of Mr. A Filch.
If you fail to report for the assigned detention, a copy of this scroll will be sent to your head of house; M. McGonagall; as well as to the Headmaster A Dumbledore; for immediate consideration for further disciplinary action.
Signed: Sybill P. Trelawney; Emeritus Seerer; Professor of Divination and Prophetic Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Professor Trelawney was so mad she forgot to issue it to you before you left class. I volunteered to help her out, told her that I would find you and make sure you got it, but good. So here are Weasley."
Harry finished reading the letter before Ron had. He watched as his friend, mouthing the last part, finished reading. Ron just stood dumb struck astonished. Would this day ever end? Lavender for her part, placed her hand over her mouth trying to hide, as she giggled like a kid tickled by imaginary fingers. "I would advise you not to be late… I've never seen Professor Trelawney this upset before."
That would hold true for Lavender until the day Umbridge came around, but that was a story for a different time.
"Detention! How the hell is that fair? She already gave all of us a shit load of homework, now we're having to do detention, too boot?" Ron read the letter again, like rereading it would make its out come some how different.
Yep, Harry confirmed they had detention. Next Monday evening; right after supper; then all the long trek all the way back up to the Divination Class, North Tower on the friggin' far side of the castle.
"Seamus and Dean are going to kill me for sure… We can't be up all night cleaning those silly ass tea cups." Ron turned his back on Lavender. Shaking his head, Ron was wracking his brain trying his hardest to figure a way out of this one. He looked over at Harry. Relieved that the face that held the lightning bolt scar wasn't as pissed as he knew the other guys would be.
They both heard the clearing of the throat… there she was a Cheshire grin plastered on her face; the preverbal cat that swallowed a redheaded mouse.
"Not '…we…' " Lavender interrupted. "Just you, Weasley! Seamus, Dean…" Lavender nodded tilting her head over in Harry's direction. "…Even Potter here, they only laughed." Feeling guilty, Harry remembered what Lavender said wasn't exactly true; Seamus' shout of '…'ave at 'er…' was just as inciting as what Ron had said. Unfortunately Ron wasn't sharp enough to remember that himself.
Harry quickly looked up from Lavenders chest, perfectly timed, a trick Ron Weasley, never seemed able to master. Harry met Lavender's eye to eye, all the while, she smirked at Harry, then continued her assault on his friend.
"See, I convinced the Professor that it wasn't fair to punish the others anymore. Not when it was just the crude nature of one student, and one student only that had offended me most. Trelawney was hard to convince, especially about over looking punishing Harry, since she sees you two guys as an inseparable set. But with Pavarti's help I eventually won her over to my way of thinking."
Lavender knew she had a special sway over Trelawney. Although she had the highest respect for her teacher, Lavender wasn't above using her talents to get special favors. Draco had Snape, Hermione had McGonagall, Even Harry and Ron had Hagrid; the grounds keeper and creature teacher, all wrapped up around their fingers. Lavender deserved an administrator that looked out for her. She had that in her hero Trelawney.
"North Tower! That place'll be abandoned after last supper. Nobody'll even be over there on Monday at that time of night." It was true hardly anyone ventured over to North Tower. In a place full of ghost, none were as creepy as the ones that haunted North Tower. Ron and Harry knew Hogwarts was safe but it wasn't without its perils. Hell, the most hated dark wizard, Lord Voldemort was on the grounds at least twice now. "Ron was still a little creeped out being in the castle alone. Even after four years of skulking about with Harry, Hermione and assorted company, but he was never alone back then. Not like he would be next Monday.
"Only you." She smiled victoriously. "It seems that the Professor has a great many stained tea cups that need to be soaked, cleaned and dried before our next class— All without magic!" Like a master fencer, Lavender delivered her coup-de-grace with a flurry and poise that pissed both the boys off to no end.
Ron looked at Harry with the 'Why me?' expression etched all over his face. But when he turned to Lavender he was a red head demon of vengeance.
"That old manky, fish bowl, eyeglass wearing…" Spittle shooting out of his mouth, as his rant, ran away unreined. Ron struck back; the last gasp of a hopeless man. Ron crumpled the detention form, wadded it up tighter and tighter in his fist, punctuating each name he called his future captor. The ignored thumping of Harry's elbow into Ron's side, did nothing to interrupt him. Ron was building up his usual head of steam he had some choice words to say, as every nasty name, he had ever heard Trelawney called spilled out of his mouth.
"I wouldn't finish that if I were you Ronald Bilious Weasley… "
Lavender said sounding remarkably like Trelawney. Her mood shifted just as fast and as hard as the boy wizard had; she leaned in close poking her index finger right into Ron's chest, punctuating each word with a piercing jab. She had put up with a lot of stuff, but attacking Trelawney in her presence wasn't one of them. "…Unless you want to extend your single detention to the rest of the week! I'm sure I can get the Professor to add some more time to your stay; more than what that loud mouth of yours has already earned you."
Ron winched as the witch's finger stabbed him repeatedly. Lavender's finger was remarkably strong, her sharpened nail dug in to the boy's chest, Ron refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was hurting him. He learned that from dealing with Fred and George. He knew Lavender was serious, deadly serious. Her flaring nostrils and continually heaving bosoms gave that away. He ignored them too, Ron knew it wasn't an empty boast, Lavender had proven sway with the divination teacher. An extra day wouldn't be a problem at all.
If Ron took the merest of moments to think; or listened to the soreness in his side from Harry's nagging poking; he probably would have waited till he was alone with Harry before he started in on Trelawney again. Especially in front of one of the old bat's greatest fans. Weasley's weren't always known for thinking ahead. "Why should I care, what the hell you tell 'Specs'— Bugger off, Teacher's pet!"
Harry instantly knew this was the wrong tact. He could feel the very air shift in the hallway, it felt as if the largest ghost had moved through all of them at the same time. Not since the night of Sir Nicolas's Death Day Feast, had Harry been that bone deep cold. The icy meanness Lavender was casting off was only countered in intensity by the white hot anger of Ron's temper. Thinking wasn't one of Harry's best mate's strong suit. Both boys sucked in air. Harry at Ron's ignorance. Ron as he fielded another one of Harry's elbow deeper into his gut as well as Lavender's final poke in the chest.
This had gone on for far to long; Harry stepped up, again using his elbow this time to nudge his defiant buddy into the background. Lavender's face was still as a stature but her eyes were plastered on to Ron, they never let him out of her sight. It was eerie watching her eyes track Ron's every move as Harry took over, both hands raised up in a supplicating nature. "What Ron means is…"
"Shut up Harry!" Lavender snapped wicked.
Harry halted abruptly. Lavender's face spun around, her wild auburn hair parted in the motion; exposing a look that made a point of strongly saying: 'Stay the fuck out of it!' It was like getting caught in the stare of a basilisk, Harry was petrified.
Quelled, Harry's courage sapped he stepped back, allowing his mate to move forward. Ron came to the forefront, he was itching to take center stage again. Lavender stared daggers at Harry making sure he knew to remain in his place. Before returning all of that intensity back to the poor red headed slob standing bravely now between them.
"He's a big boy now, Harry. Aren't you Ronald? Mr. Weasley here he'll pay for the stupid words that keep dribbling out of his infantile mouth!"
"Oooooo, I'm so scared." Ron said mockingly quaking in his boots for added effect for an unflinching Lavender. Without Harry's warning elbow digging into his side to add caution to his temperament Ron felt endued with a new swagger. He was cocky and pissing off Lavender was job one. It was that kind of cockiness, unbeknownst to Ron, was what really made most of the girls he encountered so mad at him. "I'm so terrified I can't even move. Help me Harry!"
Ron froze like a panic fawn looking at Lavender with stupid doe eye. Lavender stared and Ron stubbornly remained in the stupid pose. Lavender was the first to break.
"Oh, but you will be Weasley." Her eyes narrowing almost to slits; you could barely see the carmel color of her iris. "I'll make damn sure of that!" Lavender smiled and said calmly, her head tilted in her knowing way. If this were a t.v. horror movie, Harry knew that this as the part where the evil music would kick in, key lights would shoot up from the ground to eerily bottom light Lavender's beautiful face, a classic prophetic sign of a tell tale evil to come.
Lavender's smiled. This was no regular smile and Harry knew it. It chilled him to his core. Harry had an unwanted gift for recognizing evil. Harry looked to Ron for confirmation. He was shocked to see Ron didn't even have a clue as to how truly pissed off he made this witch.
"Ah, if your not going to show us the evening moon or that '…unaspected planet…' of your's…" Ron stated as curse, his cheek emerged again; faintly proud of what he thought was his own cleverness the boy fool continued, "…Then sod off, ya slag!"
Now it was Harry's turn to be stunned. Ron had never called a girl a name like that before. Bloody idiot! For once Harry and Lavender both shared the same the same thought.
Harry looked down, shaking his head in disbelief. 'Not… a… clue.' Ron was a pure wanker when it came to the ladies. He was gobsmacked by Ron's attitude. Yet, he wasn't the only one either. The only other person remaining in the now deserted corridor was speechless.
Lavender stood transfixed but for only a second, then with deceptive ease, viper like, her lips silently pulled back and curled up into a tighter, more forced smile. Displaying another one of her cunning smile, a smile that so unnerved Harry.
As calm as still lake water Lavender slowly squatted down side saddle, lady like, almost a full blown curtsying, as if she were being seen by the Royal Queen Mum, herself. Deliberately taking her time, Lavender carefully gathered her books and bag. They flinched when they saw her reach into the bag searching for something. Was she going for her wand? Was she going to curse them both to ash? Should they pull their own wands, curse her before she got them? Panic questions flooded their collective minds. Lavender looked capable of anything.
The moment of hesitation was all it took for them to know Lavender Brown wasn't getting her wand out, she was rearranging things so that she would have more space. All the while staring up at Ron her unnerving, knowing smile bolted in place.
One by one the witch gathered her books, Harry and Ron closely watched as she then bagged them and the various other content that had spilled out. Not so gently, jamming each and every thing into her class bag. No doubt, crushing the very divination star charts, Harry knew she had been so proud of only an hour before.
   With practiced ease, Lavender seductively stood up and with one last glare at Ron; she tossed her bag over her shoulder, spun on her heels and twirled in a flurry. A flurrying twist that lifted way more of her skirt than Harry suspected Lavender had intended. The after image of her light purple panties remained in the boys mind, as the furious witch stalked off, determined, stammering all the way. A quick glance over her shoulder caught both, Harry and Ron, ogling her ample rear end as she departed.
"Pillock… bloody git… waz…" Harry caught Lavender mumbling all the while maintaining that sinister smile. Until her voice eventually faded away.
   Harry was sure he heard Lavender call Ron a 'wazzock', an odd old term for an idiot. Right now he'd have to agree with her. Harry watched as Ron too stared at Lavender's retreating bum; usually hidden under a floor length black Gryffindor house cloak, this time her bum was unfettered. Lavenders lower assets were only bound by her pleated black skirt. A black skirt equally as tight as the shirt and vest, which strained to protect both their precious contents. Not unlike a snake charmer with his cobra, her arse rhythmically captivated the best friends attention; Lavender's prior secret purple panty shot burning in their brains. Just like the cobra, if not well respected, the panties strike backs could be just as deadly. Harry was sure, Ron would never learn this or any other lesson concerning girls.
Harry too, had to admit he was a wazzock.
Because Harry could understand Ron's possession; as he too watched the young witch's arse as she had stalked off giggling and muttering defiantly to herself. The image of her purple panties fading like a wisp on a irish bog. He knew the "unexpected" panties would return stronger once he was alone in his four poster with the curtains spelled and drawn. "Leave it mate." Harry warned. As he watched his flushed friend staring into the last space Lavender occupied.
"I wish that I could Harry. But bloody hell, I think she's still wearing the same kit from first year." Ron grinned that Weasley grin. "And did you get a load of those purple knickers?"
Harry couldn't stay annoyed at Ron for long, his mate was just too daft to stay mad at. Even if Ron acted first and thought third, for all his faults Ron always had hart. Ron made Harry chuckle, with how quickly he changed his mood. "Come on Casanova, lets get to the Library. Maybe Hermione can help us get this divination done before supper tonight."
"Aww, really Harry? You know we're going to have to sit through another one of her boring lectures…" Ron broke into a high rapid girls voice. "'…what an utter waste of time, divination is…' or, 'How sensible it would've been if you both had only taken ancient Runes or Arithmancy, like me— Honestly.' " He ended with a classic Hermione huff and head shake. Ron's impersonation of Hermione's voice and mannerism were spot on.
   Harry was doubled over with laughter watching, Ron wagging his finger and shake his hips just like Hermione. Ron cautiously looked over his shoulder, just in case before he allowed his own comedy to sweep him up in laughter too. They continued for a bit longer, before Ron and Harry thought at the same time.
"Old divination stand by…" Ron started
"Make it up as we go along!" Harry finished. They fist bumped to seal the deal. They gathered up
"You know Harry, I've had about enough of being told off by women for one day, mate… Whatcha' say? Lets bunk off and head to the pitch."
   Harry could certainly understand where Ron was coming from about his day: First Trelawney; then the snide remarks from various girls' and a few boys in class, "Thanks Weasley." Just now there was Lavender Brown. The last thing Ron needed was to be caught up in another torrential down pour from yet another female maelstrom, especially not one of Hermione's. To this day no one could make them feel guilty like Hermione Granger could… even Harry knew she was to be avoided at all cost.
"Since we're not getting any help with our divination homework." Harry cautiously said, as a devious smile, not unlike the one Lavender Brown had; crept across his face. Inching away from Ron, building a bit of a lead. "Let's skip the pitch till after supper. Lets go find Hermione anyways, so I can tell her the awesome "Uranus" joke I heard in Divination class today."
Both boys froze in their respective spots; Ron, white with shock; Harry, dumb with giddy delight. They both looked at each other a taunt line of tension anchored them both in place. No matter how much Hermione hated Divination she was a bird of vengeance against anyone acting up in class… even Divination. More importantly she was a champion for women rights. If she even got the slightest wind of what Ron had done, a howler from Mrs. Weasley would seem tame in comparison. Picking up after Fluffy, insulting a Hippogriff, even a stint in forbidden forest with Aragog's brood would be a walk on the quidditch pitch.
Harry's smile grew wider as Ron's consternation, conversely sunk deeper. Ron's eye's grew narrower as he tried to gauge Harry's sincerity. All he could see was his friend, a mask of grinning indifference.
"You wouldn't?" Ron queried as his shoulder slumped feating the bender that Hermione was going to work him over but good for being disrespectful to Professor Trelawney, to women specifically and too the class in general.
   Ron looked pitiable. The wind totally ripped from his sails. Harry about died, breaking character. Laughing again so hard at the rapid change in the state of Ron's mood.
"Oh you got to admit it was funny." Harry cinched his spellbook laden class bag up on his shoulder a little tighter. Grinning, Harry stepped back a few more tentative paces. "Plus, I still owe you for all the extra home work you got me Weasley!"
   Harry's gaffaw's rang out, echoing off the stone walls of the corridors as he turned bolted away from Ron!
   All Ron could get out was a surprised, "Hey!" As he tore off down the North Tower corridors after Harry. Chasing Harry's laughter, Ron was in hot pursuit of his best friend; all the while begging: "Don't do it Harry!… Stop, stop playing around…" Their voices trailing off from the silver ladder to divination. "…Harry Potter!!!"
   Harry ran up and down the stone hallways, staircases and grounds of Hogwarts castle. Staying just out of Ron's arms reach. Harry would let Ron get just close enough to almost catch him, then a burst of speed and the long legged redheaded boy was left in the dust. Teasing him. Not for nothing, was Harry called the greatest Seeker in years.
That boy would have made a great snitch, Ron laughingly thought, his immediate troubles forgotten, as Ron continued the chase. He never did catch Harry but they laughed all evening. It was the weekend and they meant to enjoy themselves, en spite of Ron's future problems.
That didn't matter anyway; later with Hermione, the trio reassembled at the entrance to the Great Hall for dinner. Soon Ron would be the happiest he'd ever be, meeting his hero of the day, the legendary Auror, Mad Eye Moody. And what Moody had done was priceless.
Too bad that feeling of elation wouldn't last for long.
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An Unexpected Planet