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Suppressed Emotions	By : hopelesslydevoted.xx Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 46529 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or the characters from it, nor am I making any money off of this story.

Chapter List
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- 31
Ron stormed out of the kitchen angrily, heading outside to where he knew that the person he was seeking would be. He pushed the kitchen door open angrily, not even flinching as it slammed against the side of the house. He head Harry calling his name behind him, but ignored it and continued forward.
Due to his outburst of the door slamming, Ron had gathered the attention of everyone else, and they all followed him outside knowing that something was about to happen. He could hear other voices behind him now, telling him to calm down and come back inside, but he was not having any of it. He wanted answers.
He spotted his target up ahead, who had turned and looked in his direction due to the noise that he had made, and he watched as his eyebrows rose in interest. This only furthered Ron's anger. He stormed right up to Draco, who was flanked by his Blaise.
Draco stood with his arms crossed, waiting for Ron to speak. Normally, he would have made a snarky remark at Ron's expense, but he could both see and sense the anger radiating off of him, and thought better of it. Instead, he waited patiently, as he knew that he was going to get the blunt of guys anger, even though he didn't exactly know what he had done this time to piss Weasley off.
"Is it true?" Ron snapped dangerously.
"Is what true Weasley?" Draco questioned, confused. Draco noticed that everyone else had gathered around them, waiting to see how this confrontation was going to pan out. He spotted Ginny, who shrugged her shoulders, indicating she didn't know what the hell was going on.
"IS IT TRUE?"
Draco's patience was wearing thin. He had no idea what Ron was talking about.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Draco snapped.
"YOU AND HERMIONE!" Ron exploded.
All eyes shifted to Draco, nobody daring to move or make a sound.
"What?"
"IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND HERMIONE?"
Draco stood momentarily shocked and rooted to the spot. He didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him, waiting for answers. Draco's silence only intensified Ron's anger.
"TELL ME!"
Draco shook his head, gathering his thoughts.
"I don't know what you are expecting me to tell you," Draco stated coolly.
Ron's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You didn't answer my question."
"And what was your question exactly?" Draco asked, trying to buy time and figure out how the hell he was going to get himself out of this situation.
"Is. There. Anything. Going. On. Between. You. And. Hermione," Ron hissed slowly, making sure that Draco heard every word clearly.
Blaise looked at Draco, wondering how he was going to handle the situation. Knowing Draco, he was going to say something that would just mess everything up and make the situation a lot worse. He watched as Draco's face hardened, any emotion that may have been on his face gone, and knew that his friend was making a mistake.
"No."
Blaise shook his head.
"What?" Ron questioned, not believing his ears.
"You heard me Weasley, there is nothing going on between Granger and I," Draco snapped.
He saw movement in the crowd that had gathered around him, and saw her storming towards him, her face alight with anger. She walked directly up to him and before he knew what was going on, his head was jerked to the side, and his face was stinging wildly from where she slapped him.
He turned his face back towards her, but not before watching as a tear ran down her cheek, and she wiped it away furiously before turning around.
Hermione had been pacing in her room when she had heard a loud bang from downstairs, followed by Harry urging Ron to come back inside. Hermione had immediately known that something bad was about to happen, so she had ran downstairs and made her way to the crowd that had gathered outside to witness Ron losing his temper. It had only taken her a second to realize whom he was angry at when he had heard Ron shout the question at Draco "Is there anything going on between you and Hermione." Hermione felt her heart rate pick up, and she held her breath waiting for his response. The few seconds that it took for him to answer were antagonizing, and Hermione was wondering if he was actually going to answer, and then he did. And she felt her heart shatter as she heard his answer pass through his lips. She had thought that the pain she had experienced upon finding out that Ron had cheated on her was bad, but it was nothing compared to the pain she was experiencing now. She had felt a pair of eyes on her, and looked over and saw Charlie looking at her sadly, a knowing look in his eyes. That was the motivation that she had needed, and before she knew what she was doing, she was storming up towards Draco, who was beyond shocked to see her making her way towards him. Before even allowing him to get a word out, Hermione had raised her hand, and hit him, hard. Normally, she would refrain from using violence when dealing with people, but she was beyond being able to control herself. The pain had momentarily subsided, and instead she felt a burning anger, one that she was unable to control. After hitting him, she felt her anger kindle, and the pain she was experiencing was back, and she felt a tear run down her cheek. She wiped it away furiously, refusing to cry in front of everyone, and especially him. She was falling apart, and she used the little strength she had left to turn around and walk back towards the house, holding back her tears that were threatening to spill out everywhere. She kept her gaze straight ahead, refusing to look at anyone. She knew that she was mere seconds away from losing it, and the only thing that was holding her together was knowing that in seconds, she could let go.
Draco watched her retreating figure, and felt an intense pain in his chest. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He didn't know that she was there. If he could reverse time and take back what he said, he would have. The look on her face as she turned away from him killed him. She was holding herself together in front of everyone, but Draco knew the damage that he had caused, regardless of how hard she tried to hide it, he knew her too well and could see through her mask. And what he saw destroyed him. It was at that moment that he realized just how badly he messed up, and how horrible things now were. He had just messed up things with the one girl he had actually come to love, all because he couldn't hold his temper in when it came to dealing with the Weasley, and because he was embarrassed to admit that there was something going on between him and Hermione in front of everyone that hated him. He had always heard that you could push a person too far and then lose them forever, and he now understood what it meant and how it felt. And it was absolutely horrible. Draco had never thought that he would experience or understand what I meant to have a broken heart, but at that moment he did. And it was exactly how people described it, absolutely and utterly painful. He knew that he had no one to blame for the situation but himself, which broke him that much more. He was an idiot, and he knew he was getting what he deserved.
Draco had always thought that Hermione was too good for him, and he had always imagined that he was going to end up hurting her, but not like this. No, this he had never planned on. He felt sick to his stomach. When he had been younger he thought that breaking Hermione Granger would have been the best thing in the world, and had often dreamed about it feeling nothing but a great satisfaction. But now, knowing that he was the one to break Hermione Granger, it was the worst feeling in the world.
He didn't even register that Weasley was coming at him, his fists raised. He didn't feel it when Ron punched him in the nose, causing it to break. He could sense that his nose was bleeding, but he didn't care. He couldn't feel anything.
He looked up as he heard a commotion, and saw Bill and Charlie pulling Ron away from him, who was struggling to get loose.
"YOU FILTHY LIAR!" Ron was shouting, his eyes round and wide like a crazy person.
Draco didn't even have the strength to argue or try and explain himself, instead, he turned around and walked away, not knowing where he was going. He didn't seem to have control over his body, and just let his instincts take over.
Blaise watched as Draco completely and utterly shut down once he realized the damage that he had done. Blaise knew the minute that he had seen Draco's face before answering that he was going to say something that he was going to regret, and how right he was. He didn't even have the heart to go after his friend and tell him what a stupid idiot he had been, because Draco already knew. Blaise knew that it was best right now that Draco be left alone, to deal with things in his own way. He had never seen Draco like this before, and he didn't want to make things worse. So, for the time being, he watched as his friend disappeared from view.
Ron was absolutely furious. First, he was furious because it seemed that there actually was something that had been going on between Hermione and Draco. The fact both repulsed him, and made him angry. And then, when he didn't think that his anger could be any greater, he had seen the look on Hermione's face when Draco had denied anything between the two of them. Ron had thought he would be happy upon hearing this, but when he saw how much damage those words had done to Hermione he had went mental, his protective best friend side coming out and overriding any other mixed emotion that he was feeling towards the whole ordeal. He had launched himself in Draco's direction, swinging and hitting him as hard as he could. He felt momentary satisfaction upon feeling Draco's nose break on the impact of his fist. Before he could swing again, he was being pulled away from Draco, who didn't even seem to notice that he had just gotten punched, not to mention that he had a broken nose and was bleeding all down his face.
Before Ron could attack him again, Draco had turned his back on them all and walked away without uttering a single word.
Hermione didn't remember the walk from the door to her bedroom, but yet here she was, sitting on her bed, her heart broken in half, feeling as though her world had just been torn apart. She felt her body convulse as she finally broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably. She didn't hear anyone enter the room, but she felt a protective pair of arms wrap around her, and she leaned into them, tears spilling down her cheeks. She vaguely heard a silencing spell being muttered, but couldn't find the words to thank him. She just buried herself deeper into his arms, needing the comfort.
She didn't know how long she sat there crying, but summarized that it must have been quite a while due to her throat being dry and the stinging of her eyes. Her eyes felt extremely heavy, and she realized that she had stopped crying. She felt someone stroking her hair in a comforting way, and pulled back, finally acknowledging her company.
"Sorry," Hermione croaked.
"Hermione, you don't have to be sorry," Harry stated softly, as he conjured her a glass of water.
She took a sip, and sighed as the cold liquid worked wonders on her throat.
"Yes, I do," she said as she leaned back into him.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Harry stated as he stroked her hair.
"Harry, you just found out that I've been involved with your worst enemy, of course I have something to be sorry for. I kept it a secret from both you and Ron."
"It wasn't a complete secret, I did have my suspicions, but I kept them to myself. I knew that you would come and talk to both Ron and I when you were ready. I'm not saying that I understand it, but I am willing to try."
Hermione felt a fresh batch of tears spring up in her eyes.
"Well, it doesn't matter anymore," Hermione said, her voice cracking.
"Of course it matters Hermione. You're in love with him."
Hermione pulled back from him, her eyes wide.
Harry gave her a knowing look. "Like I said, I always had my suspicions that there was something going on between the two of you, but I never knew exactly what. I came to the realization of how intense things were between the two of you when I saw your reaction to what he said."
"I don't know how he could say that there was nothing going on between us," Hermione said softly, her heart hurting upon uttering the words.
"Well, it's clear to me, and everyone else who was out there for that display that there was something going on between the two of you."
"Was," Hermione said, her voice cracking again.
"How about you tell me how it all happened?" Harry asked.
"Harry, I know you don't want to hear about it."
"Actually, I do. I want to understand it all. It's hard to believe without hearing the entire story. I mean, obviously you fell for him, but I don't know why or how. To me, he is still the git I've known since the staring of school. Although, I have noticed some changes with how he acts, but still, I need to hear everything first hand. I promise I won't get mad."
Hermione looked into his eyes and saw his sincerity, and that he was telling the truth.
"Well, I guess it all happened when he saved my life during patrolling. He was there for me when no one else was, when I thought that it was the end. It was horrible, thinking that I was going to die, but then there he was, and I remember feeling so relieved seeing him, that it didn't even matter that he was my worst enemy, because somehow I knew that I was going to be okay."
"So you fell for him because he saved your life?" Harry questioned.
"I guess in a way, yes. But that's not when I started liking him. Dumbledore made us move into a dorm together, in order to ensure my safety, of course Malfoy wasn't pleased, and made it well known. At first things were usual, us continuously bickering at one another, him making rude remarks towards me, and me retorting. And then, things just started changing. Slowly, obviously, but nonetheless, changing. We started getting along, not completely of course, we still argued and such, but we had a mutual understanding and respect for one another I guess you can say, and we developed a sort of bond. I'd never really seen the nicer side of him before, as we were all usually the punch lines of his jokes, but after everything that I had been through and his being there, we got along, and I ended up liking the person that he was when he wasn't being an arse. It was shocking at first to see that he had a different side besides him being a git, but once I saw it, I couldn't get it out of my head."
Hermione looked up at Harry to see what he was thinking. He nodded, urging her to continue.
"Blaise ended calling me out on it, but I denied his accusations, I didn't want to believe even for a minute that there was any truth behind his words, because I'm Hermione Granger, and he's Draco Malfoy, it didn't make sense. We were from completely different worlds. Besides, he was our worst enemy, there was no way that I could think of him as anything such. And then this one night we were getting along so well, messing around and play fighting and before I knew what was happening, he kissed me. I felt this like electricity shoot through my body, I felt so alive! It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. And then he realized who he had just kissed, and turned back into the old Malfoy. He snapped and said that kissing me was a mistake, as was saving me in the hallway that day. At that point, even though I didn't admit it, I knew that he meant more to me than I initially realized, because his words actually hurt, a lot. I mean, I was used to his mean comments towards me, had gotten used to them and let it stop bothering me, but when I heard those words come from his mouth…"
Hermione looked back up at Harry.
"Go on."
"I don't know, things just kept progressing. We would argue, and then be okay with one another again. I liked being in his company, liked having him around, and I felt safe with him. Things were rocky and up and down between us a lot, with him kissing me and stuff and then turning back to his old ways, but yet, I kept allowing it all to happen, even though every time he pulled away it hurt me more and more as time progressed."
"And in the process you ended up falling in love with him," Harry stated slowly.
"I didn't really realize it at first, but I did."
Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione, pulling her close to him.
"Why did I have to fall in love with him of all people Harry? It was doomed from the start."
"We can't always choose who we fall in love with."
"Ain't that the truth," Hermione said a small smile on her face.
"What are you going to do about it?" Harry asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
"I'm doing nothing."
"Why?" Harry asked.
"Because there is nothing that I can do Harry," Hermione said sadly.
"Of course there is something you can do. You can go and talk to him."
"And say what?"
"Have you told him?"
"Told him what?" Hermione asked.
"That you love him," Harry stated.
"Not exactly. But it doesn't even matter! It's too late for all that."
"If that's how you feel.."
"It is how I feel Harry."
Harry decided not to argue with her anymore. He knew that she was hurting and he didn't want to push her and have her angry with him. He did think that Hermione should go and talk to Draco, even though the idea wasn't exactly one that pleased him, but he knew that in order to figure out what was going on that the two of them should talk. Instead of voicing his opinion, he kept it to himself and nodded his understanding.
"Alright."
"What am I going to do Harry?" Hermione asked sadly.
"That's completely up to you. You can either sit in this room for the remainder of the holidays and allow yourself to succumb to the pain and nothing else, or you can be strong and keep fighting through it."
Hermione let out a deep breath.
"You know what Harry, I am not going to sit around and wallow. Yes, I am hurting, but I am not going to let it ruin my holidays and the time I can spend with my best friends. Seeing him is going to be hard, but I can do it. I'm just going to pretend like nothing happened, and just treat him as an acquaintance. I've spilled enough tears over the whole ordeal, and to be honest I don't think I have any more tears in me."
Harry stood up and offered her his hand.
"That's my girl."
Hermione gave him a small smile and grabbed his extended hand, and he pulled her up. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, and he squeezed her reassuringly.
"I always knew you were strong," Harry stated.
Hermione pulled back from the hug. "Thanks."
"Alright, well I'll give you time to compose yourself or do whatever you need to do, I'll meet you downstairs okay? If you need some more time to get your bearings together, take it. No one is going to judge you."
"I think I'm going to take a hot shower."
"That's a good idea. I'll see you downstairs later," Harry said as he left the room, closing the door behind her.
Blaise had been making his way up the stairs to check on Hermione, when he had been stopped by Ginny.
"I wouldn't go up there right now."
"What, why? Hermione's one of my friends too."
"I know, but she's with Harry right now."
"You think her talking to Harry after him just finding out there is something going on between Malfoy and her is a good idea?"
"Harry is a really understanding person and he knows that she's hurting. He isn't going to do anything to further the pain. Besides, I think Harry already had an idea of sorts, he kept asking me if there was anything going on and he wanted to talk to me about it."
"Drake's an idiot," Blaise stated.
"You can say that again."
"It's obvious that he's in love with her, yet he is too damn proud to admit it aloud or in front of everyone."
"Well, that may have just cost him."
Blaise shook his head sadly, having to agree. "I know."
"Why aren't you out checking on him anyways?"
"I thought it best if I left him alone for a while, and I wanted to check on Hermione."
"Well, Harry's got that bit covered. Go and check on Malfoy. He probably needs a friend right now just as much as Hermione does, and I don't think anyone else will be attempting to see if he is okay."
"Alright, later."
Draco could faintly hear that someone was walking towards him, but he just kept his attention forward, already knowing who it was. He felt Blaise slide down beside him.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"So, you're an idiot," Blaise stated.
Draco snorted. "You're really great at this consoling your friend type business."
"We both know that you don't want to be consoled."
Draco couldn't help but smirk. His friend knew him too well.
"True."
"So what the hell was that all about anyways man? What was going through your head to stand there and lie to everyone that Hermione cares about. You knew it would get back to her someway, it just happened that she was there to hear it first hand."
"I don't know," Draco snapped angrily. "Weasley gets under my fucking skin and I can't think straight. And everyone was standing there staring at me. You really think they all would have approved of our being together? Hell no. They all hate me. I just gave them the answer that they all wanted to hear."
"So you decided that lying to them all was the best option?"
"At the time I thought it was," Draco hissed through clenched teeth.
"Well you can clearly see now that it wasn't."
"You don't think I know that?" Draco exploded, standing up. "I know I fucked up OKAY? I was too worried about what everyone else would think and how they would feel, and I let it cloud my judgment. I shouldn't give two fucks about their opinions. I panicked. And now I just fucked everything up with the one girl who actually liked me for me. It wasn't about my looks, or my money, or that my father is high in the ranks of the Death Eaters like Pansy and all those other girls cared about. Hell, all those other girls didn't give a fuck about anything besides those things. They didn't care that I was a horrible person, they didn't even take the time to get to know me. They just accepted the person that I was making myself out to be. Granger didn't. She wouldn't put up with my shit, and without me knowing it, I let my walls down around her. She opened my eyes and made me realize that things aren't so black and white, and I felt myself changing. And even though at first that scared me and I denied it, it happened. She changed me into a better person. I saw a different side of myself because of her. I saw a different side of her. Everyone's always known that she's intelligent, but it goes beyond that. Yes, she's smart, but she's also beautiful and thoughtful. She's caring, and kind. She would do things for me and be nice to me even though I was being a complete and total asshole to her, because it's in her nature. She sucks up her pride and does what she thinks is right, even if other people don't agree. She just genuinely cares about everyone, regardless of who they are and she will help anyone in need. And you know what, it's my fault that it's taken me this long to realize all those things. It's taken me until completely messing everything up to realize just how important she was to me, and how much I enjoyed the time that we spent together. It's taken me until now to realize that I fell in love with Hermione bloody Granger."
"Well it's about time," Blaise stated.
"Huh?"
"You finally admitted your feelings for her. It's about bloody time."
"Shut up Zabini."
"I'm proud of you mate. You've come a long way."
"It doesn't even matter," Draco huffed.
"What do you mean?"
"Because I realized all of this too late. I can't take back what I said. I fucked everything up. And you know what? It's probably for the best because I'm Draco Malfoy. My dads a Death Eater, and it's not like I could ever take her home to meet my family. Our relationship would have to be a secret. I mean yeah we could make it work right now, but what about once school is done? There is no getting around who I am and my family. If my father ever found out he would kill her, or have her killed. And I can't do that to her. She doesn't deserve it."
"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"
"What?"
"Draco, that was probably one of the most unselfish things I have ever heard come out of your mouth. You are right, you have changed. And I am so proud of you. I don't mean to sound like a parent, but honestly I've been trying to tell you that things aren't so black and white for the longest time and before you never even used to hear a word I said. No offense but you were a self absorbed git who only cared about himself, and now look at you."
"Yeah, and look where all that got me," Draco snapped.
"So you messed up, you're not perfect. If she is someone that you feel strongly about then you should fight for her, not let her go just because things are tough right now. I've never known you to give up on something because it's difficult. You're a fighter Draco, so fight."
"Even if I wanted to, I doubt she'll give me the chance. And besides, even if I do fight for her, she's going to end up hurt again. Once school is done there's way too many complications that will keep us apart."
"Draco, she loves you. And Hermione isn't one to give up easily either. So what, you guys are going to have some problems along the way, but you know what, that's what makes it that much more worth it. We'll figure out how to deal with it all as soon as school is finished. Where there's a will, there's a way. Don't worry about that right now. Right now you should focus on going back in there and fixing what you've broken."
"You make it all sound so simple," Draco stated sarcastically.
"We both know that it's not going to be simple. But that shouldn't deter you from going after something that you want, and in this case the woman that you love. Hermione is an amazing girl, and I'm afraid that if you just let her walk away without trying to mend things between the two of you, that you are going to regret it. And don't tell me you won't because I know you."
"What if she wants nothing to do with me anymore. What if I've hurt her too badly?"
"How would you feel seeing her with someone else?" Blaise asked.
Draco's temper flared, and he clenched his fists tightly.
Blaise watched as Draco's body filled with tension due to his anger.
"Exactly my point. And how would you feel looking at her with that other person, wondering if you had told her how you felt and tried to fix things, that it could have been you that she was with compared to him?"
"I would kill whoever's hands were on her."
"Then there's your answer mate."
Draco let out a deep breath. "You know, I hate when you're right."
"I know you do," Blaise said smirking.
"Well, don't get used to it."
Blaise clapped Draco on the back.
"Enough stalling, go in there and fix things."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up," Draco said as he stood up. Blaise stood up with him, and the two of them headed back inside.
Blaise really hoped that Draco would try and fix things with Hermione and not give up and let the situation get the best of him. He knew it was going to be hard considering Hermione was surrounded by friends and family, and that they were going to be very protective over her, now especially, but he knew that Draco was strong and as long as he didn't give up, he might have a chance in mending things. He knew that Hermione wasn't going to let Draco just get away with what he did, she was proud, and had been hurt by a guy before. Draco was going to have to suck up his pride and really show Hermione how sorry he was, or otherwise lose her.
He really hoped it didn't come down to Draco losing Hermione, and vice versa. He knew how much the two cared about each other. He never thought he would see the day when Draco would fall in love with a girl, a muggle at that. That just further proved how much Draco had changed, and Blaise knew that it was all because of Hermione.
Not only that, but they were his best friends, and he wanted more than anything to see the two of them together.
Draco pulled open the door that would lead them back inside the Burrow.
"You can do it Drake, I have all faith in you," Blaise stated quietly.
"I'm glad someone does."
"Well, lemme know how it goes. I need to head back to the portkey, but before I go I'm going to go and say goodbye to Hermione."
Draco nodded.
"Later mate. And good luck. Don't give up."
Blaise left Draco behind him, making his way up the stairs towards Hermione. Ginny was no longer anywhere to be seen near the stairs, so Blaise took this as a sign that Harry and Hermione were done talking.
Hermione heard a knock on her door, and her heart started racing. Her immediate thought was that it was Draco. She shook her head, mad at herself for thinking, and partly hoping that it was.
She opened the door and found Blaise standing there.
"Hey."
"Hey," Hermione said smiling, her hair still wet from her shower.
"Just wanted to come and say thank you for having me over here, and that I did have a god time hanging out with everyone. But, my portkey is going to be taking off soon, so I have to go. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye though," Blaise stated.
"Oh right! I totally forgot that you had to catch your portkey! I am so sorry Blaise my mind has just been pre-occupied."
"Hey, no worries I totally understand. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."
"Well I'm glad you came, although I'm sorry the last part of your day was ruined."
"It wasn't ruined."
"Regardless, I am sorry about how things turned out. You must all feel so awkward," Hermione stated.
"You have nothing to apologize for. And who cares how everyone else feels. Anyways, I don't mean to be rude but I need to catch my portkey. Dumbledore was nice enough to allow me to come here, I don't want to cause him any more problems by missing the ride home. Owl me if you want to talk. I'm always here for you."
"Thanks Blaise," Hermione said engulfing him in a hug.
"No problem. I'll see you when we get back to the school"
"That you will!" Hermione said as Blaise waved at her over his shoulder.
Hermione watched as Blaise disappeared down the stairs, and she let out a deep breath. She had spent as much time as she could in her room that she shared with Ginny as possible, and she knew that she couldn't hide away forever. So, she sucked in a deep breath, and headed down the stairs, deciding that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. She was going to have to face him soon enough anyways, mind as well deal with it head on before she backed out.
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