Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

...After Happily Ever After	By : Lissa & snowblind12 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 25739 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Harry Potter or J.K. Rowling. I make no money off of these stories. This is just fun for me.

Chapter List
- 29
- 30
- 31
AN: Okay. I know there has been a lot of angst. I know everyone is starting to tire of it. HOWEVER. This is listed as an angst/drama. I'm going to answer some questions in hopes to help people feel better about continuing with me.

1. This will be a happily ever after (HEA). So please hang on.
2. Hermione's reactions and emotions are true to form for rape victims and I really think they give the story depth and realism. I was going to skim over what happened in these last few chapters and skip right to where this chapter leaves us, but I was encouraged by my Betas to give the readers a more in depth knowledge to my main pairing, to show what was really happening instead of glossing over Hermione's and Severus's fears, reactions, and heartbreak. I'm so happy I listened. While these chapters have not been easy to write (and I'm sure they haven't been easy to read) I am thrilled with how they turned out. I hope the addition of the lighter with the other characters helps relieve some tensions.
3. A few people have commented that they don't know how Hermione will come out of this okay and able to move on. She will. I promise. Some unexpected help happens in this chapter and prompts the turning point. Things will start to get better from here on out.
4. I have no idea how much longer this story will be - but we will get through Harry and Ron finding out about the pregnancy, Lizzie meeting Draco's parents (more drama/angst there, but not so dark), Susan and Ron being intimate, a wedding, the downfall of the Muggle Hate Group and the reveal of who was running it. Draco will find out his father was involved, there will be a break up, an unexpected hook up, the birth of a child, and a happily ever after.
5. I am not willing to divulge the paternity of Hermione's child until it's time. Please be patient. Not even my Betas know.

Thank you all for staying with me. I hope you're enjoying the story. Lots of love.

I miss hearing from you all! Please let me know what you're thinking!
x Lissa
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mid-Late March
12-13 Weeks Gestation
“Neville, hitch my leg up, yes. Ooo, yes. Just like that.” Luna’s sweet, lackadaisical voice could be heard ringing clear down the second-floor hidden passageway. It was just shy of curfew. Bloody hell. They really couldn’t have found a better spot? Snape grimaced. The last pairing in this castle he wanted to catch going at it were Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. He stopped outside the passageway and cleared his throat.
A frightened squawk came from Longbottom and he had to stifle a bubble of hysterical laughter. Best way to kill that kid’s hard-on was to have his most feared professor catch him trying to round second base. “Please step from behind the tapestry…immediately.” He drawled in a lazy, deep rumble.
“Luna! Luna, no!” Longbottom could be heard. “He doesn’t mean…put your - !’
“Oh, hullo, Professor Snape.” Lovegood had done as asked, presented herself immediately. Without putting her clothing back on. Frozen in surprise, it took Snape a moment to look away from the tiny, bare breasted girl. Grimacing, he did a one-eighty and put his back to the pixie.
“Miss Lovegood, I would very much prefer it if you would put…your…shirt…back…on.” He said through gritted teeth, he could feel heat and color creeping up his neck. Sweet mother of all things magical. The girl was completely uninhibited. Always had been. He resigned himself to being more elaborate in his instructions in the future if he ever had the unfortunate happenstance of catching her again.
“Luna! I tried to tell you!” There was a small squeak from the girl as Longbottom grasped her arm and pulled.
“I’m sorry, Professor Snape.” He heard a rustle of the curtain. “Luna just…well. She’s just Luna.”
“Indeed, Mr. Longbottom.”
“I do apologize if my nudity made you uncomfortable, Professor Snape.”
“We shall not speak of it again, Miss Lovegood.” Came the dry answer. Neville was grinning at Luna, trying to not bust out laughing.
A few moments later, he had two students standing in front of him, fully clothed this time. “Ten points from Gryffindor, fifteen from Ravenclaw.”
Lovegood cocked her head at him questioningly. “Why do I lose an extra five, Professor?”
Snape held back a snort. This had been nothing if not entertaining. “For indecent…exposure…Miss Lovegood. If you two don’t take yourselves back to your…separate…common rooms immediately, it will be another five…each…for missed curfew. Do…I make…myself clear?”
“Yes, sir.” Longbottom answered promptly, taking the little blonde chit’s hand and pulling her along.
Neither noticed the smirk he gave the two as they disappeared. That was the most amusing thing he had come across in weeks.
“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Ginny snapped at her friend, frustrated beyond belief. She glanced at Snape who was sitting behind his desk while Ginny tapped loudly again on Hermione’s bedroom door. “Hermione, can you hear me?” Three more loud knocks. “You have got to stop holing yourself up in here. Have you even seen the outside these last two months? There are no bloody windows down here.”
She was met with more silence. She saw Snape drop his head into one hand, the other penning something in blood red ink across some poor, unfortunate souls’ essay. She absently wondered what year he was marking, seventh years had an essay due the day before. She refocused on the task at hand. Three more pounds. “I’m not leaving. I will sit out here all freaking night if I have to, you ungrateful swot.” She saw Snape’s head snap up in surprise and she threw a wink at him. She thought a small smile tugged the corner of his mouth before he turned back to his work. It was saying a lot about his patience that he had allowed her to carry on thus for almost the last thirty minutes.
There was a tentative knock at the door and both Ginny and Snape looked up to see Lizzie and Susan peering into the room cautiously. Snape gestured them in halfheartedly as if saying, “Be my guest.”
“Has she said anything?” Lizzie whispered. Ginny shook her head. “Let me try.” The blonde took a step up to the door and knocked gently. “Hermione, it’s Lizzie. Can I come in?” Nothing. Another knock. “Hermione, c’mon. We miss you.”
A soft, tentative voice sounded from behind the two girls. “Do you mind if I try?” Susan whispered. Ginny and Lizzie stepped out of the way.
Susan didn’t knock, just started talking. The three other people in the room were barely able to breathe when they heard her words. “Hermione? It’s Susan. Can I come in?” She knew she wouldn’t get a reply, so she continued, not even stopping for a breath. “Hermione. I know what you’re going through.” They heard a snort from inside, but it didn’t throw the redhead off. “I was raped during the war, he took my virginity. Let me in, we can talk. Maybe we can help each other feel better.”
Snape stood abruptly, eyes flashing with surprise, hands shaking at his sides as Lizzie and Ginny both tucked up behind Susan protectively. The three exchanged, shocked looks at this unexpected display of candor. “I know it really helped me to talk about it. I saw a Muggle psychologist for a while. He helped me process my feelings. Are you seeing a psychologist?” Susan continued to talk to Hermione through the door like no one else was listening.
“It happened here, at Hogwarts. On the battle ground. It was Nott Senior, I pulled off his mask while I tried to fight him off me. He disarmed me. Broke my wand. I was out by Hagrid’s hut, just at the edge of the forest. I was fighting with Cho and Marietta. They ran off to get help. I blamed them for a long time.”
More silence, tears were started to stream down Lizzie’s face and Ginny looked about ready to fly into a rage. “He dragged me into the forest, tied me to a tree. Ripped my robes. Bit me. I still have teeth marks on my shoulder and left breast.” Snape sat down heavily in his chair, eyes sliding shut, nostrils flaring with rage, but he let her continue. Hope flooded him. Maybe the realization she was not alone in her experiences would help.
Susan’s voice was calm, unemotional without being detached; just matter of fact and clinical. “I begged him not to and he used the Cruciatus on me. I’ve never felt anything like that and I hope I never do again.” She paused and they all looked up as they heard something crash from inside the room. “Are you okay, honey?” Susan was concerned. “Can I come in? We can talk. You can tell me anything, I won’t judge you.”
No other sounds came. She took a deep breath, her voice was starting to tremble, her face flushed pink. “His breath stank and it was obvious he hadn’t showered in days. He kissed me, bit my lip. Slapped me across the face when I started to cry. My nose bled.” Her voice was shaking more now. Ginny laced her fingers through one of her hands, Lizzie the other. The pretty girl squeezed both and gave them a small smile of thanks. “He used some sort of charm to tie my knees to my wrists. Sliced my shirt and bra off. Mauled me.
“When he put himself inside me, I threw up from the pain. He hit me again before vanishing it, but then covered my nose and mouth, not letting me breath. I thought I was going to die. I felt like I was being ripped to shreds down there. Turned out I had been. It took three magical repairs to put things right.” A strangled sound of fury left her Potions professor and she felt a flame of heat rip up her face.

“I’m sorry, Miss Bones. I am merely angry that I cannot raise him from the dead so I can kill him for you.” Came the calm, baritone voice. This made Susan relax again.
“He got me pregnant,” Susan said, her voice was clear, but unbearably soft. “I wasn’t as strong as you, though. I terminated the pregnancy. He or she would be just a few weeks old right now, so I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I second guess myself sometimes, but what’s done is done. I can’t change it.”
Snape was floored. Did the girl know Hermione was pregnant? Ginny and Lizzie exchanged bewildered looks and their eyes met Snape’s. Both girls paled at his expression. “She’s pregnant?” Ginny whispered. “Oh, Gods. She’s been so tired…and all the throwing up! How did I miss this? I’m an awful friend.” She turned back to the door and started pounding again. “Hermione! Please let us in. Please!” She was crying openly, angry blotches appearing under her freckles.
The four people in the room froze as they hear a lock unlatch. The door cracked open and Hermione’s tear streaked, gaunt face appeared. “Only Susan,” she whispered. Ginny looked ready to protest and Lizzie let out a strangled sob, but Snape…Snape was elated, grateful. He wanted to give Susan Bones the moon.
“Only Susan,” he agreed firmly, telling the other two girls with his eyes to leave. Hermione did not meet his gaze, but opened the door wider to let in the blue-eyed redhead. When she disappeared inside, the door was closed, the lock sliding home.
“Ladies,” Snape said warningly to Ginny and Lizzie before they left. “You will keep the pregnancy between those in this room until Hermione is ready to share with Potter and Mr. Weasley. She must be the one to tell them.”
The girls nodded. Lizzie opened her mouth to ask a question before thinking better of it and simply walking away. Ginny stared at him a long time, meeting his eyes unflinchingly. She must have found what she needed, because she gave him a small smile and a nod before following the Hufflepuff.
Snape watched her the next few days, carefully continuing to integrate his instructions from Dr. Jenkins from two weeks prior. A brush of his fingers when he handed her a bottle of ink. A gentle touch on her face when he checked on her before he went to sleep. He followed her into the bathroom a few times to hold her hair back when the pregnancy sickness overtook her. Each time she jumped or shied away from his touch, but he didn’t miss the longing in her eyes. The need for human contact.
After Susan Bones had disappeared into her room for more than three hours the Tuesday after her last psychiatry meeting, she had seemed different. A bit lighter, more needy of company. He was getting her to exchange pleasantries almost daily. It got even better as Susan would visit with her after classes ended each day for an hour or more. After the Hufflepuff left, Hemione would leave her door wide open while she worked. He was surprised to find it unlocked while she slept. She wasn’t avoiding being in his presence. He had been able to encourage her to eat a bit more than normal in the evenings, as he had been ordering their dinner into his chambers every night for the last month. Evening meals seemed to be the only ones she was keeping down, so the fact she was putting more away heartened him.
He had finally broken down and contacted a Healer specializing in prenatal care at St. Mungo’s and had gotten an approval on an anti-nausea potion. He was planning on presenting it to her tonight along with two others the Healer had helped him with. He was prepared – even wished – for a fight. It would be something other than painful politeness.

“I brewed you a mood stabilizer.” A pale green vial was plunked down in front of her. “I spoke with a Healer specializing in prenatal care and without going in depth, told her you have been depressed. She recommended this concoction. I ran it past Dr. Jenkins, he agreed it was an excellent idea. I also have an approved anti-nausea potion and a vitamin potion you will be taking every day until you’re at a healthy weight.” He added the next two vials to the first.
A frown pulled heavy at the corners of her plump lips as she stared at the potions. “I don’t want them.”
Hands came down heavy on her shoulders and she jumped and squawked in protest, leaping off her chair and away from him. She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “You’re being ridiculous,” he growled at her, looming over her authoritatively. He would have regretted the tearful look she gave him if she hadn’t cried almost every day for the last two months. He would have felt bad for treating her unkindly if he thought there was anything else he could do at this point. Yes, she had made some progress over the last few days, but not enough. He was simply unwilling to continue on like this. She had to choose to get better. She had to choose him as he was choosing her.
“You will take these. You must.” He snatched the mood stabilizer up and plucked the cork from it, thrusting it into her face. “So help me God, Hermione Jean Granger, if you do not take this willingly I will force it down your throat.”
She took a purposeful step away from him and the reaction he had been seeking with those specific words set a thrill through him. “I choose what I put in my body! No one else does. I choose what I do and do not do. I do!” She stamped her foot and watched an eyebrow disappear into his hairline.
“You choose everything, Hermione. Always. I will never take your choices away from you, but I will be damned if I stand by and continue to let you make all the wrong ones. You won’t help your nausea with the lozenges Poppy procured for you. You won’t schedule yourself a short nap before dinner so you can work a little later at night as I suggested a month ago. You are literally wasting away to skin and bones, and you’re going to decline an anti-nausea potion? Who are you? Not the logical young woman I’ve come to know and love!
“You refused to terminate the pregnancy, and I respected that decision. I knew the woman who made that decision. You are not taking care of yourself – which means you are endangering the child you insisted on keeping. The child I know you love even if you can’t say it aloud. You won’t even talk at your psychiatry appointments – don’t look at me like that – of course I know you’re not talking to him. You signed a paper giving him permission to tell me everything.” Her outraged gasp only goaded him. “It is not my fault if you didn’t read what you were signing, pet. It doesn’t matter, though, even if you hadn’t signed it you practically scream it at me every time I remind you of your appointment. Just because I’m not poking in your mind doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes hear.” Her glare turned into a glower of disapproval, her arms were crossed tightly over her chest and she was all but snarling at him in contempt. He recorked the vial and set it down.
“You’ve stopped spending time with your friends. You do nothing but attend class and sit in your room.” His breath shuddered through him. “Hermione...” He had to grit his teeth and clear his throat in attempt to keep the worst of his emotion and pain from her, but let some slip through. “You’re pushing me away and I don’t know what to do to bring you back to me. I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.” He wasn’t meeting her gaze. “Hermione, I will fight through hell for you, but I need you to give me something. Anything. I miss you.” The words were foreign to him, but they ripped through the air with a forceful need and he grasped her shoulders. She knew how rare it was for him to say something like that and her eyes widened in surprise, pain slicing through them – but the pain sparked something deep in her core.
Bloody hell, she was sick of crying. But here she was again, on the verge of tears. Her self-depreciation, depression, and overall feelings of unworthiness made her say what she did next. Made her throw out her own darkest fear; smashing his face in it in a daring challenge. “Then leave,” she whispered. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart sinking. Where was his witch? Why could he not help pull her out of this? Why was she shutting him down? “You’re going to eventually, anyway.” She attempted to jerk away from him, but he wouldn’t let her, his fingers dug painfully into her shoulders and she gasped as the tears splashed hotly over her cheeks.
His eyes finally settled on hers and the heat in them was stifling. “Have I given the impression I’m going anywhere?”
A small flicker of guilt crossed her face. No. He hadn’t. Not once. He had done nothing but try and make things good for her since she was let go. He had done everything she asked, had even done things she hadn’t asked for. She was trying to find the girl who had hunted and destroyed horcruxes. The one who had fought in the Battle of Hogwarts. She was trying to find the young woman who seduced a twenty year her senior professor (and a bloody terrifying one to boot), the one who had fallen in love with him and had been so happy mere weeks ago. She was trying desperately to find the girl who had played a horror filled game with her abductors and won. She was desperate for the girl who had asked her fiancé to sleep with her to give her doubt about who her potential child’s father could be. She tried to find the brazen woman who had the strength to make love the very day after she had been brutally raped. She just couldn’t. She didn’t know where that person had gone.
The one that was left was turning into a shell. She had lost over a stone. Her clothing hung off of her. Her face was gaunt. She had no appetite. No ambition. She was barely making it through classes. Looking at this man she loved, seeing his pain and concern tore at her. And even though she still felt broken, that heat in her core sparked an ember to life in the pit of her stomach. She searched his eyes, his question still hanging in the air. He caught his breath and watched a glow return to those beautiful brown orbs for the first time in weeks. “No,” she murmured. “No, you haven’t given me the impression that you’re going anywhere.”
“I’m not.” He insisted. “I don’t want to. I’m here with you.” He searched her face for a long time, lingering over the sharp angle of her cheekbones, the bruises under her eyes. “I love you. Always. I’m not going anywhere.”
A shuddering breath shattered the silence as she tried to accept his statement. Finally, she nodded and held out her hand. “I’ll take the potions.”
She saw and felt the tension seep out of his body, she hadn’t realized how stressed he was. She watched him as he let go of her to recollect the vial, removing the cork once again. She realized he had lost weight as well, weight he couldn’t afford to lose. He had just begun to look healthy again after the war, and it was all fading again. It was her fault. She straightened her back and squared her shoulders as he handed her the potion. She threw it back and grimaced at the bitter aftertaste.

“How often must I take it?”
“Weekly.” The relief in his eyes was palpable and the guilty feeling grew. He handed her the next and the next which she downed in quick succession. The anti-nausea medication was instant. A deep calm swept through her abdomen and her stomach muscles relaxed for the first time in well over a month.
“It shouldn’t take long for them to help you feel better.” He was watching her face, watching the relief flood her features. He knew the anti-nausea potion was instantaneous. She could take one dose every day. It lasted twelve hours. The vitamin potion was specifically geared for prenatal needs. He already noticed the color seeping into her cheeks as her body absorbed nutrients it hadn’t been getting in much too long.
“I will take it without question. You’re right, I need to step up. I’m sorry I’ve been wallowing.” It sounded a bit forced, and he winced.
“Hermione…” He considered her carefully and slowly opened his arms to her. She hadn’t allowed him to hold her in so long. She hadn’t kissed him in much longer. He missed being tender with her, missed being intimate so much. He missed her affection towards. He may have only had it for a short time, but once he had become accustomed to it, he had never wanted to be without it again.
She looked up at him and gave a curt nod, walking in to his arms, wrapping her own around his waist. He curled one arm around her head, sinking his fingers into her hair, and the other around her shoulders and dropped his face into her hair breathing in the scent of lavender and vanilla he had come to love so much. Oh, Gods. He felt his muscles start to tremble with relief, anguish seeping from him in waves. He swallowed hard, barely letting himself believe this was really happening. He had his witch in his arms again. He felt like sobbing.
“You have more excuses than I care to admit to wallow, but you have not been the Hermione Granger I know.” He told her gently when he felt he could talk safely. He squeezed her tightly. “Accept the help that is being given to you. Allow yourself to heal. Stop punishing yourself. You are blameless in this. You did nothing wrong. So many people are scared for you. They’re all waiting on the sidelines to help in any way they can.”
He felt her nod against his chest and she squeezed him more tightly. “I’ve missed you,” she breathed after a moment. She was sure the mood stabilizer was working. She felt more emotionally open than she had in far too long. “So much. I feel so unworthy of you…so…dirty.”
His words caught in his throat as his mind whirred, trying to figure out how to address her fears. Fucking doctor hadn’t told him how to respond to this type of declaration. “Don’t let yourself feel that way.” He said finally, tilting her head up. He dropped a tentative, chaste kiss on her lips and felt her melt into him. The joy of it was extremely overwhelming. It seemed she was just as starved for his touch as he was for hers by the way she was pushing herself deeper into him. “You will always be the purest thing I hold in my arms. I love you, pet. So much.” Instead of answering him, she looped her arms around his neck and pulled herself onto her tip toes to kiss him again. He groaned when he felt the insistent tapping of her tongue on his lips and he met her tongue with his own enthusiastically.
She clutched at the nape of his neck, digging her nails in deliciously. He tapped down on his racing libido, the hallow ache in his gut that had been craving her touch and love for far too long. The feeling of waking after a terrible dream was seeping in and if he didn’t control the situation he would do something he would regret. He gently cupped her face with both hands and slowly ended the kiss. “Stay by me tonight. Let me hold you. Just hold you.” She searched his eyes and nodded slowly.
“Yes,” she agreed, her eyes welled again. “I’m so sorry for all I’ve done. You deserve so much better than me.”
“No!” He pulled her to his chest again, careful not to overwhelm her. “No. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing.” He felt her nod against him again. He took her shoulders and pushed her away, guiding her to the settee in his office. He used his wand to stroke the fire that was burning low, building the flame and heat until the room felt better. He sat and pulled her down into his lap.
“Tell me you understand that what has happened to you is not your fault.”
She looked away. “I know it’s not my fault, but I just - ”
“No. Tell me that it’s not your fault.”
She set her jaw determinedly. “It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That’s right.”
“Say – ‘I am loved.’”
“I am loved.”
“Tell me who loves you.”
“You do.” She was getting choked up again. Saying these things aloud was almost making her believe it.
“Yes. I do. Who else?”
“Harry.”
“He’s your brother. He loves you very much. Who else?”
“Ron and Ginny.”
“All the Weasley’s. Molly has been writing me daily. Who else?”
“Lizzie.”
“She’s been a nightmare and a right thorn in my side trying to help you. I’d say she loves you more than even you know. Who else?”
“My parents.”
“Yes. Even though they’re gone, their love is inside you. Anyone else?”
“No?”
“Yes. Minerva. Poppy. All your professors. You’ve been a favorite for years.”
This pulled a smirk out of her even as tears slid gently down her face.
“Who else loves you, Hermione?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you love yourself?”
A very long pause, then a quiet answer. “Not as much as I used to.”
Severus nodded. He suspected as much. “We’ll work on that. There’s one more person.”
“Oh?”
“Do you know?”
“I don’t.”
“The child you’re carrying.”
She gasped in surprise, a hand coming to flutter over the very slight swell of her lower abdomen. She turned watery, hopeful eyes on him. “Do you think so?” The longing was heartbreaking. “Do you think they could love me?”
“How could they not? You’re Hermione Granger.”
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...After Happily Ever After