Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Weapon	By : uqui Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Voldemort Views: 105432 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 26
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
-----------------------------------

Weapon (Possession Chapter LIX)

Chapter VIII - Where Love is Hidden

-----------------------------------
Harry looked up at the High table once the Hall was cleared. Since it
was only revision this morning for fifth and seventh years he didn't have to be
anywhere. Most of the teachers had left since they had classes for the sixth
years and other lower levels. Dumbledore was watching him carefully but the old
man seemed happy enough. He nodded towards him as he rose.
"I think I'll visit Ginny, sir," he said.
"I think that would be a good idea," Dumbledore agreed. "I've
been meaning to speak with Miss Weasley myself, so
perhaps you can put her at ease for me. I will speak with you later though,
after dinner perhaps?"
"I'm looking forward to it."
Harry ruffled Sirius' ears at the toothy grin the large black dog gave him.
He'd figured out that his Godfather spent so much time in his animagus form because it was easier to hide his true mind
that way. He unfortunately didn't have that option and so was left with a slight
feeling of lethargy from the continued strain of trying to keep his true self
hidden all the time.
He was getting better, and he would continue get better at it, he knew. But
during this early stage it was frustrating. He just hoped that he could pass
off any early mistakes as a side effect of being
kidnapped by the Dark Lord.
This time of the morning the corridors were empty but even though he
couldn't see them, he knew the shadows were skittering around him, checking
everything, and Sirius was sniffing the air almost continuously, his canine
nose far more sensitive than his eyes.
Harry paused as Mrs Norris jumped down in front of him, hissing, her ragged
coat matted. She spat at him and he could see that her claws were unsheathed.
He just stared back, green meeting green as Sirius growled, his coat bristling.
It took no more than a moment and after it was over Harry smiled slightly.
She'd flinched. The threat inherent in his eyes and in the charcoal eyes of his
Godfather had been too much and her animal instincts had collapsed and by her
actions she had declared him her superior. For a cat, she had fought well, far
better than her master.
"Don't get in my way," he whispered to her, reaching down to
stroke her head before he tugged lightly on the tuft of her ear. "Don't /ever/ get in my way."
Mrs Norris yowled and ran off. She was only a cat, true, but she knew
Hogwarts inside and out and while her master was no more than a petty
inconvenience, a petty inconvenience at the wrong time could spell disaster.
Better to find alternatives for such nuisances early.
Or course out of the two females he had to deal with today, the cat was
relatively easy. As he stepped into the Infirmary he couldn't help but shake
his head. He really didn't know what exactly to do about Ginny but all things
considered he knew he had no choice but to be honest with her. She had been
honest with him, perhaps that was the problem, she had
been too honest.
"Harry!" Madam Promfrey greeted him
brightly. "It's good to see you."
He smiled towards the nurse. She had done so much for him and she didn't
even recognise it, for her it was nothing more than her job but to him it had
been priceless. She had earnt his regard many times
over and he knew, at the very least, she had earnt
his beloved's mercy if that was her choice. "It's good to be here when I'm
not a patient," he said easily.
"So who are you here to see?"
"Ginny, if she's awake."
Madam Promfrey laughed, a
short giggle of amusement. "The poor dear will be ecstatic to see you, but
try to keep her calm, understand?"
"I will," he promised as the nurse pointed him towards the right
cubicle.
Harry paused before he went in, gathering himself. With what she had done,
this was not going to be easy. There was definitely a part of him that could
have loved her had things been different. He sighed, it almost didn't seem
fair.
No... it just wasn't fair.
But he had dealt with that. Life wasn't fair.
Ginny was reading and she hadn't heard him. He smiled again slightly. The
sunlight shimmered off her hair making the usual firy
read tresses look like they were mixed the molten gold. She was still a child,
her body was only beginning to develop but she was going to be an
extra-ordinarily beautiful woman.
"Ginny?" He murmured softly.
She gasped, looking up, sapphire blue eyes locked on to him with an almost
panicked look. Her mouth moved but no sound came out.
He smiled gently. "It's okay, it's okay,"
he said as he walked further into her small cubicle to sit on the bed.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "You're okay," she finally whispered,
reaching up to wipe the tears away.
Harry nodded, making shushing sounds, reaching out to take her hand.
"Just relax," he said easily as Sirius curled up at his feet.
"I'm so happy! You're okay, you're okay." Ginny lunged forward,
wrapping her arms around him as she sobbed into his chest.
"It's okay," he repeated, trying to sooth her. He didn't exactly
have a plan for this conversation but this was not during anything that he had
thought about. He wasn't sure he liked her crying. There was something vaguely disquietening.
Ginny sniffed as she looked up at him, her eyes becoming hard, "Don't
ever do that again!" She demanded. "Not ever."
"I don't plan on."
"Harry, I mean it. Don't ever do that again. I
meant what I have said to you, what I vowed to you. I will die for you, Harry.
I will die for you Harry. At any time, I will transfer my life energy to you
and die happy."
"Shush," he murmured, looking around. "Not yet," he
added, whispering in her ear as he returned her embrace as a cover for the
charm he was about to perform.
"Silencias," he whispered,
focusing his power on the wand that lay along his forearm. The charm took and
radiated outwards and Harry allowed his eyes to change for an instant to see
that it had only extended as far as Ginny's partition. He pulled back from the
embrace with a small satisfied smile.
The youngest Weasley looked down at her hands.
She'd sensed the charm and on one level was grateful that Harry was so discrete
but on another she wanted everyone to know in the hope that it would strengthen
her ties to him. But she knew that wasn't the way. "You..." she began
softly again, unsure exactly how to begin.
A year or so ago, she'd drawn up a list of people who could possibly be
rivals for Harry's attention. Hermione had featured prominently as had Cho Chang, and almost every other female in Hogwarts,
including the Slytherin's because she knew Harry
could see beyond the petty rivalries of the Houses. She'd even gone so far as
to include a space for an unknown Muggle Girl. She
had considered the possibility of a male rival but that had been removed when
she had considered Harry's obvious attraction to Cho.
The possibility had been further reduced by the irrevocable fact that another
man, no matter how magical, simply could not give Harry children, children he
would need as the sole remaining Potter.
And then, she'd systematically gone through the list and determined ways
of... well, eliminating them sounded so wrong, but methods of illustrating to
Harry as to why she was better, why she loved him more. In the end, she'd
managed to remove, at least in her mind, everyone except the unknown Muggle and Hermione, but Hermione had eliminated herself
when she'd stayed with them that summer. The affection between Ron and her had
been obvious and Ginny had been ecstatic, not just because they would be happy
together, but because it meant that the competition had again been reduced and
she really wasn't sure how she'd have been able to compete with the older
witch. Hermione might be Muggle-born but she was just
good at everything - Ginny had been honest enough to admit that. With Miss
Granger out of the way, that just left a Muggle Girl,
and while it was a big unknown, Ginny had been sure she could compete.
She had never once thought, never once dreamed that she would be in
competition with Him. Even if her long shot possibility of Harry liking men had
been true, there should have been no way for it to be Him.
"You... you love him, don't you?" She finally choked the question
out.
In all her considerations, in all her planning there was one thing she knew
she couldn't plan around, couldn't anticipate, couldn't
control and it seemed as if she had been beaten by that one variable. The most important variable - Harry's heart.
Harry looked at her through emerald eyes that seemed to shimmer with
content. "I do," he said with a soft smile.
Ginny felt the sting of tears in her eyes despite her
efforts to keep them at bay. She'd known he loved him, she'd known for weeks
now... so she shouldn't be crying over it. "So there is no hope?" She
knew, but she couldn't help but ask.
Emerald eyes looked confused for an instant and Harry felt an odd shift
within himself as he saw Ginny's tears. "I will always love him," he
said, some part unable to outright crush the tiny nub of hope she still had to
feel to ask such a question.
Ginny was silent, one hand reaching out to wipe the tears that had gathered
in her eyes. She looked at him, blinking blue eyes carefully as she fought to
remain in control. "I will always love you," she said softly, unable
to deny the truth. It didn't matter what Harry felt, what Harry did. For her,
that was the truth.
"I know," Harry said sadly. "I know,
that's why I'm here. I want us to start again."
Despite her pain, Ginny's eyes narrowed as she considered this. "What
do you mean?"
"I love him Ginny. I will love him for all time but this half bond, no
matter how much you might protest otherwise, is not fair on you. I want us to
start again."
"How?"
Harry winced at the note of suspicion in her voice. But it didn't matter, he was going to do this, one way or another. The
half bond was not fair on her, but it was also a security risk for him, one he
could not afford, not with the battles that would come.
"I will break the bond," he said smoothly, logically. "And we
will proceed from there."
"No!"
"Ginny, please don't make me force you."
"No, I don't want to lose even that. I meant it Harry. I will die for
you, but if you take that away..."
"I... we... we can keep part of it," he said quietly. "But I
will have to break most of it. I want us to be equal Ginny, and we can't do
that while you are tied, servant like to me. And I can't complete the bond with
you, because I love him. If we do this now, Ginny, one day we can reform
another bond... together." Harry felt the tug on his consciousness again
and he suddenly found himself face to face with blazing emerald eyes.
"What are you doing?" His voice hissed at him.
"What are you doing?" he returned the question, shouting at
his true self. "What's she going to think when I zone out for a while, for
no good reason? What is Madam Promfrey going
to think?"
"Time is meaningless here. It will be less than a second. Now what are
you doing?! You exist to protect me, not tie me down to some wrench!"
"I am protecting you!"
"You are also protecting yourself, something you shouldn't need. You
are me!"
"No, I'm not," Normally wide emerald eyes narrowed as they looked
at the other. "You are the me who is but I am the
me who was meant to be."
"But you are not! I am me."
"I know. I am nothing more than a possibility that has now fallen to
the wayside. But you have given me form, and you have given me strength
and definition, and I am no longer a vague possibility. You are stronger, yes,
and you could crush me but then I couldn't protect you." That
wasn't anything his true self didn't know. What he had created, he could
destroy but creation had been for protection, and the destruction of such
protection was not in his true self's interest. That was something his true
self also knew. "Do not worry. You are me and I am you, we are different
facets of the other. I will protect you because that is the only way I can
protect myself. And I will protect you without question, without hesitation but
in order for me to protect you, to protect us, I am
going to have to live."
"Why her?"
"She is powerful, she does love me, and more importantly, she will not
betray us. Who else would you have me choose?"
"No one! We already have a mate."
"I am the me who was meant to be! I was
never meant to have that mate. I love him though, even as you do but I
am also attracted to others, other's perhaps that I should have loved."
His true self looked back at him through narrowed eyes, calculating the
implications as tiny motes of power flickered through his fingers. In his mind,
anything was possible. At the moment, this division in self was necessary, but
he did not have to like it. When he thought of his lover he wanted to think of
ruby eyes, black hair and a commanding presence within him, he didn't want to
think of blue eyes, red hair and a fragility he'd be afraid of shattering on
the first thrust.
"If you truly do not like her, I will pick another, rather than be
forced. But I doubt another will be as loyal."
"I would rather you pick no one."
"We don't have that choice."
"But if you love her..."
"Yes, then you will love her..."
"She will always be second to me."
"He will always be second to me."
His true self began pacing, obviously angry with the choices he had but
equally knowing that there was no other option. "All right," he
finally growled coming to a halt as the energy faded. "But
only her."
"Only her as a lover. The others will be as
you do."
"As I do," his true self sniggered. "Better be careful,"
he added the warning.
"I will," Harry responded as he was released to look back at
Ginny. In the instant it had taken him to come to the agreement with himself she hadn't moved although there was a look of
consideration on her face.
"Harry," she gulped finally, once again pushing back tears,
"all right," she gave her quiet agreement. "I promised I would
love you and that means I will do anything to see you happy, no matter what the
cost to me. But" her voice became firm, "you will not
remove my vow and the means to die for you because if it ever comes to it, I
will give my life energy for you and consider the cost small. My other vows,
while true, can still be carried out without the bond."
Harry looked at her closed, emerald eyes half hooded. This was important to
her, no matter how much he might wish otherwise, she was not going to settle
for anything less. "I can accommodate that, but I want you to always
remember, I would much rather you live for me, than die."
She smiled, somewhat wanly. "I would much rather live as well."
"Good," he said. "Ginny... I cannot say that I love you,
because I don't or rather I do, but in the same way as I love Ron and Hermione,
as my friends but... the possibility exists for me to love you as
something more. That's why I want us to do this, so that that possibility can
develop, unhindered by the past. I will never love you the way I love him,
because you aren't him but I believe I will come to love you as you."
"Equal to him?"
"Maybe, but he will always be my first love. I can't change that."
Ginny smiled. It was not sad and Harry frowned slightly. "You know
Harry," she said, "There is one thing I worked out when it came to
you. While I would have been happy to be your first love, I'm honest enough to
admit, I don't care what number I am, so long as I know I am loved. That is
more important to me and you are giving me that chance."
Green eyes looked distant for a moment. "It is all I can give
you," he murmured. "But it will not be as easy as you think."
"I know," she said. "I know and I have known for a while that
to love you was to be a target but I accepted that Harry. Just as I will always
accept you, no matter what happens. Even if in the end, everyone turns from
you, for what you will do, I will still be there, Harry. I will always be
there."
Harry nodded, slightly shaky at the strength of her conviction as he reached
out to hug her again. He would always have his Beloved, and that would be
enough but in the end it was nice to know that he'd have at least one other who
would still accept him. "I will break it tonight," he said to her,
retracting his silencing charm. "And tomorrow, we can begin again."
There was a flash of sadness from her but she nodded bravely. Just give
me a chance, Harry, she thought. I will make it enough.
-----------------------------------
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Weapon