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100 Ways to Kill a Weasley	By : Ms_Figg Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 41442 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 86
- 87
- 88
Chapter contributed by : honeybee

A/N I just love this
series and it seems to be dying out…I wanted to contribute
something again, because we are so close to the goal, only a few more
to go! So I stared at the bottom of my teacup, waiting for
inspiration, and would you believe it, it decided to visit. I hope
you enjoy this.

Ron, Hermione and
Lavender sat at a small table in “The Three Broomsticks”,
drinking tea and chatting. To be more precise, Hermione and Lavender
were chatting; Ron was too busy pouting and sending covert death
glares at Hermione. Finally she couldn’t bear his sullen
silence and snapped at him:

“Ronald, I
didn’t ask you along! I wanted to have a quiet cup of tea with
Lavender before Severus comes along to pick me up. If you can’t
be civil, you can go!”

Ron visibly shuddered at
her use of the Potions Master’s given name and whined:
“But Mione,
how can you date the Greasy Git? I still think he has you under a
spell…or he slipped you a potion!”

Lavender snorted, rolling
her eyes,” More likely he slipped her a tongue.”

Both girls laughed as he
turned green and dry-heaved in his cup.

“Come off it
Ron, I know you don’t like him, but I am happy with him. Can’t
you be happy for me?”

“I wanted to
be happy WITH you,” grumbled Ron.
Hermione sighed and
banged her head on the table. She knew very well that Ron didn’t
love her, not in that way, but his ego was bruised when she got over
him so easily and started seeing Severus.

Lavender tried to ease
the tension. She grabbed Ron’s cup and smiled.

“Here, let me
read your tea leaves!”

Hermione resisted the
urge to bang her head again. If that’s what it took to distract
Ron, she would listen to the utter tripe Lav sprouted over his cup.
She had become friends with the girl, but she still thought that
Divination was a total waste of time.

Lavender peered into the
cup and wrinkled her pretty brow.

“Hmmmm...This
can’t be right. Maybe Madame Rosmerta didn’t brew the tea
correctly. Or my inner eye is clouded today.”
“Why, what do
you see?” Ron’s curiosity was piqued.

Lavender laughed
uneasily.

“I’m
telling you, something’s wrong with the tea. It says that you
are going to die and…something about music.”

Ron and Hermione looked
at each other and started laughing. Soon Lavender joined them,
relieved that he wasn’t upset with her. She told herself that
tea leaves were very obscure unless they were a special Divination
sort and brewed correctly. Ron guffawed one last time and patted
Lavender on the back.

“Now that’s
not bloody likely, Lav. Dead by music, I will remember not to go near
any sirens.”
A familiar silky drawl
interrupted their merriment.

“I am glad
that you are enjoying yourselves, but Hermione and I need to be
going.”

The three at the table
turned around to see the looming figure of Severus Snape. Hermione
smiled radiantly and quickly grabbed her purse. She pecked Lavender
on the cheek, ruffled Ron’s hair and stood up to greet Severus
with a brief kiss. Ron made a gagging noise behind them, which turned
into a groan when Lavender elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Severus
nodded to them with a smirk.

“Please
excuse us, Miss Brown…Weasley.” He wrapped his arms
around Hermione, aimed one last sneer at Ron and Apparated both of
them away.

Ron glared at the empty
spot and muttered “Git…”

Severus and Hermione
arrived in the sitting room at Spinner’s End. As soon as they
found their balance, Severus devoured her mouth in a hungry kiss and
started unbuttoning her robes. She pulled away from the kiss and
laughed.

“So, that is
why you were in a hurry?”

Severus growled into her
hair and continued to unbutton.

“I have spent
the last three hours in a basted staff meeting that Minerva saw fit
to schedule for Friday evening. I sat there with a raging hard-on,
thinking what I would do to you once I get away. I guess you could
say I am in a hurry.”

He pulled away her robe,
scooped her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He put her on
the bed, warded the Floo and the windows against any interruptions
and pounced…

Several hours
later, as they both drifted into sated sleep, he mumbled into her
ear.

“What were
you and your friends laughing about when I arrived at “The
Three Broomsticks”?”
She snickered softly.

“Lavender
read in Ron’s tea leaves that he was going to die, by music at
that.”

The last thought in
Severus’s head as he fell asleep was “Too bad Divination
is crap.”

The couple awakened late
in the morning. Hermione showered and went off to the kitchen
to prepare breakfast. Severus followed soon after and released the
privacy wards so he could get his Saturday paper. Suddenly a flurry
of owls swarmed through the open window, dropping letters. Both
Severus and Hermione stared at the pile of mail in amazement. Then
one last owl swooped above the table, grabbing a piece of bacon and
dropping the Daily Prophet. A huge headline on the front page
answered the multiple mail mystery. Hermione pressed her hand to her
mouth as her eyes filled with tears and she whispered hoarsely:

“But…Lavender
said the tea wasn’t right. And anyway, Divination is
tripe! How...how is it possible, it must be some sick joke.”
Severus put his arm
around his distressed lover and rummaged through the pile of missives
with his other hand. He looked at Hermione with a grim face.

“I am sorry,
but it seems to be true. These letters are all for you or me, by
Potter, all of the Weasleys and Minerva. I believe we should read the
article and Floo Arthur and Molly.”

A WAR HERO MEETS HIS
DOOM IN A FREAK PIANO ACCIDENT

We are truly
grieved to report the demise of one of the Wizarding world’s
most loved War heroes. Ron Weasley, best friend to the Boy-Who-Lived,
survived the war with Voldemort only to fall victim to a freak
accident. Late last night, Ron Weasley was walking alongside a Muggle
building on the way from the Apparition point to his flat. It appears
that a team of workers was elevating a grand piano by ropes suspended
from the roof of the building, possibly to transport it to one of the
upper floors. Apparently the ropes snapped just as Ronald was walking
underneath and the piano crushed him, killing him on the spot. This
was witnessed by Harry Potter himself, who was on the way to his
friend’s flat. We offer the condolences of our entire staff to
the Weasley family and all of Ron’s friends.

Severus hugged Hermione
and wiped the silent tears rolling down her face.
“Again, I am
sorry my dear. Let’s get dressed, we should go to the Burrow.”

Hermione
nodded and walked stiffly to the bedroom. Severus followed,
considering apologizing to Sybil for the years of mocking on his
part. It seemed there was something in Divination after all.
- 86
- 87
- 88
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100 Ways to Kill a Weasley