Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

A Wolf's Soul	By : sinfulsanctuary Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 2410 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Chapter Nine – Remus

School that day was difficult. I couldn't get the Hogwarts werewolf off my mind, and my mind was slow and slurry from lack of sleep. By the time Defence Against the Dark Arts came around I was a mess. Tia said I looked like a ghost; pale, circles under my eyes and hair was a crow's nest from grabbing it to try and stay awake.

I struggled to keep my senses with me the entire lesson. Even though I knew a lot of the answers to Professor Lupin's questions, I did not have the energy to raise my hand. About the only conscious thoughts I had was about the book I read and about the werewolf at Hogwarts.

As the bell rang signalling break before dinner, I had no idea what we were supposed to have learned today. And as Professor Lupin kindly asked me to stay behind, I suspected he knew I hadn't been mentally present.

Patiently I sat at my regular desk at the front, waiting for whatever Professor Lupin wanted from me.

"How are you doing, Miss Farraday?" he asked, from behind his teacher desk.

"I'm fine, thank you, Sir," I answered.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "What did we cover in class today?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but closed it again. There was nothing I could say to fool him, but I tried. "Defence against the dark arts?" I smiled sheepishly.

Surprisingly, he smiled too. "You didn't sleep last night, did you?"

I shook my head, loving that he cared enough to get to the bottom of this.

"You may look ill, but I recognise all the signs from a restless night. What kept you up?"

"I was revising Defence in the library last night, and I came across a book that I couldn't put down. I read it through the night and then sat up thinking about what I read." I noticed that my speech was a bit slurry, and I had to think back to make sure I said what I thought I said.

"I'm glad you take this class so seriously, but I don't want you to lose sleep over it."

"The book that kept me up wasn't for revision, it was just something I read to understand the topic better for myself." I stifled a wide yawn. "Listen, Sir, I actually want to talk to you about this, but I'm not functioning properly right now."

"I can see that." He looked amused. "Tomorrow is Saturday, why don't you come by my office then, Miss Farraday, and we can talk?"

"Okay, I will. And I promise I will have Tia fill me on everything I missed today." I stood up and grabbed my bag, stifling another yawn.

"Get some sleep first, will you?"

I nodded, waved goodbye and somehow made it past all the desks and through the door without tripping.

I was really excited about being invited to Professor Lupin's office, but I was too tired to really let it through. So I went straight to dinner, ate quickly and went straight to bed.

...

Around noon the next day, I woke up. I found Tia in the common room and was pleased to see she had brought a couple of slices of toast for me. I told her Professor Lupin had requested I see him in his office today, to talk about my performance in class yesterday, or lack thereof.

"Why wouldn't you see Professor McGonagall about it instead?" Tia asked.

"I don't know, I guess she didn't care that much. Professor Lupin told me to get some sleep and then see him today. So I'm going."

"I don't see you complaining." Tia smirked.

"Why would I? It'll be nice, even if I get yelled at." I smiled happily and went on my way, Tia shaking her head at my joy.

As quickly as I could I arrived on the second floor and knocked on Professor Lupin's door.

"Good afternoon, Miss Farraday," he greeted as he opened the door. "Or should I say good morning?" There was a smirk on his lips I hadn't seen before. It suited him.

I rolled my eyes and entered the office. "I suppose 'good morning' is correct, as I woke up half an hour ago. So I got about 14 hours. Do you think that's enough, Sir?"

"I think you'll have trouble sleeping tonight. Please, sit down." He signalled for the chairs we sat in last time. "Tea?"

"Yes, please." I didn't sit at the edge of my seat this time, but slid all the way back into the very comfortable chair, letting a sigh slip past my lips.

"What's wrong?" Professor Lupin asked as he prepared the tea.

"Oh, nothing," I answered. "I just like it in here. It's comfortable."

There were a few moments of silence as the tea brewed. Once again I looked at his hands working, something fluttering in my stomach as I did. This time I looked openly, not trying to hide myself.

He held the cup out for me, and I could smell the same flavour as last time.

"What was that book about, Miss Farraday, the one that kept you awake?" he then asked, looking at me over the top of his cup.

I took a deep breath, this was going to be difficult. "It was a book called..." I paused. "Hairy Snout, Human Heart."

I could see the colour leave his face, his eyes widen, terror flashing in them so quickly I wasn't sure I'd even seen it.

"I-I hear that's a good book," he said quickly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know, Professor."

"Know what?"

"I know what you are. I recognized all the signs I read about when I was revising on Thursday. It all made sense. How you're away 'sick' once a month, you're tired and weak the days before and after the full moon, your scars... You're a werewolf."

He blinked several times, still ghostly pale. He hastily put his teacup on the table, it spilled a few drops, and then he stood up. "This is it then," he said, walking back and forth, running his hands through his hair. "I have to leave." It sounded as if all the world's problems rested on his shoulders.

I straightened in horror, putting my cup away, following his every move across the floor. "Leave? Why?"

"You've found out, I'm sure you're going to tell everyone. Not that I blame you, a werewolf can't be teaching. What was I thinking? What was Albus thinking? The parents will have me chucked out tomorrow."

"I'm not telling anyone, Sir. You're a wonderful teacher and a good man. Why would I expose you to people's stupid prejudices?"

His stopped abruptly, right in front of me, his amber eyes piercing mine, there was an incredible sadness in them. I felt tears well up, but I didn't let them out. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Yes, I am serious. I would never do that you." I tried my best to convince him by letting my feelings shine through my eyes.

Relief flooded his entire being, I could feel it in the air around him. He fell to his knees, grabbing my wrists forcefully, bowing his head. "Thank you, Niamh."

My breath caught in my throat. He just used my first name. He didn't seem to notice it. And he was touching me again. The vibrations had never been so strong. It lived and breathed around me.

I stared at the back of his head, light brown and gray. His shoulders heaved with each breath. Ragged breath. Skin burning on mine. Trying to be careful and sneaky, I started twisting my wrists, wanting to properly hold his hands. This seemed to wake him, and his head snapped up, staring in slight horror at where his hands were. Quicker than I thought possible, he jumped up and away from me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he muttered quietly.

"Why not?" I whispered, missing his closeness.

"Because- Never mind." He collected himself and sat down again.

I sighed as his vibrations washed over me again.

"I'm sorry you are a werewolf," I said. "I know you probably don't want pity, but I'm sorry for you. I can only imagine what it must be like, and it breaks my heart."

Professor Lupin just looked at me, I couldn't read his expression. So I kept talking.

"Once I realised what you were, I had Penelope help me find all the books about lycanthropy. And don't worry, I told her it was just for revision and she believed me. I read through all of them. Not thoroughly, of course, pretty much all of them say the same. I took Hairy Snout, Human Heart back to the dorm. And I read it through the night, crying for the man that wrote it, and crying for you. When I finished I couldn't sleep for everything I now knew and how sad I was."

"You're not even a little bit disgusted by me?" The question came quietly, full of insecurity.

"I grew up with the scary stories featuring werewolves, used to scare children from running in the woods alone, from going out after dark. So I guess I was a little bit prejudiced. But once I understood everything, I couldn't make sense of it. How such a gentle, kind man like you could be a vicious monster. But I understand now that the werewolf doesn't define you. It's just an unfortunate thing that happens every time the moon is full. We all go through crappy things, some crappier than others. And because people are blind, stupid and scared of the unknown, being a werewolf is crappier than it should be."

He was now leaning back in the chair, his cheek resting on the soft leather, staring at me with a soft smile on his lips.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered. "I guess I'm just so grateful you won't tell anyone. But even more happy that you found out, but don't hate me."

"How could hate you?" I widened my eyes at what I had just said, and the way I had said it. If that wasn't a clear clue to the feelings I had for my professor, then I don't know what could be. But he didn't seem bothered by it.

"The full moon is coming up in four days."

"I know. I'm sorry."

His smile widened.

"If there is anything I can do to make it easier, tell me."

"Just knowing that someone knows and thinks about me will help."

"Good, because I will. Where do you go to transform?"

This made him laugh. "Here I'm just lying in my bedroom, sleeping like a lazy dog. Professor Snape is brewing Wolfsbane for me each month. But at home I don't have access to the potion, so I lock myself in a strongly warded cage. And while I was at school, I was the 'ghost' in the Shrieking Shack."

I didn't laugh. A cage. That was horrible. And I knew all about the horror stories of the Shrieking Shack, he had been the one doing all the howling and crying? A tear fell out of my eye, I felt it roll down my cheek and onto my lips. My tongue darted out and I tasted the bitter salt. "Why can't you take the Wolfsbane when you're home?"

"It's a very complex potion. I was never that good at Potions. And it's too expensive to buy."

Another tear rolled down my cheek. This one fell onto my robes.

"Are you crying?" Professor Lupin asked.

"I just can't believe how unfair it is. That you of all people have to go through this." My breath hitched, a lump formed in my throat. I furiously dried the tears that now fell uncontrollably.

Professor Lupin stood up and walked over to me. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up and into his arms. I fell into them without hesitation, my own arms holding tight around his waist, resting my head on his chest.

"Don't worry about me," he said. I could feel the vibration of his voice against my ear. "I've managed for 30 years, I've learned to live with it."

"That long?" I asked between sobs, my voice muffled against his grey robes. "Y-you were bitten when you were th-three?"

"Four," he corrected. "I had my birthday on March 10th."

"H-happy belated birthday, P-professor."

"Thanks, but I think it is okay for us to be on first name basis, Niamh, we've crossed that line now. At least outside class."

I lifted my head to look at him, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Happy belated birthday, Remus."

There was a moment as we both looked into each other's eyes. My heart raced, I was sure he heard, knowing his senses must be higher than for normal people. I could feel his breath on my face, warm and sweet. The hands on my back tightened slightly and I could feel every muscle on his chest, his arms. His eyes darted all around my face, to each of my eyes, my lips, the top of my head, before finally staying on my eyes.

Then to my surprise he began lowering his head, painfully slow. It felt like a lifetime before his lips met mine. And then there was an explosion in my stomach, it flipped and flew and swooped and twisted. My skin was on fire, sensitive to everything. His lips were unbelievably soft, and gentle, and tasted so delicious my toes curled where I stood.

I couldn't help but moan as he gently nibbled on my bottom lip. Carefully I snaked my hands back, over his chest, and up around his neck, weaving my fingers into his hair, kissing him back with all I had.

Slowly and tenderly he caressed my lips with his own, not going any further than pressing them together. Just as slowly I stroked the hair in his neck, gently tickling him, pressing my body and my lips against him, drawing a moan from him that vibrated against my lips.

After a while he broke our connection, breathed out and let me go entirely. I was weak at the knees and fell ungracefully backwards into the chair.

"I shouldn't have done that," he whispered, looking tortured.

"I'm not complaining," I whispered, I didn't trust my voice to be strong and audible, but I knew he could hear me anyway.

"You're my student, and I'm your teacher," he continued. "This is one line we shouldn't have crossed. I'm a werewolf for Merlin's sake. I'm sorry, Niamh." He sat down heavily, his hand over his eyes.

I cleared my throat, trying to keep my insides calm long enough for me to speak clearly. "I'm not sorry, and I don't care if you're a werewolf at all. It didn't change anything for me." My voice left me at the end.

"What do you mean 'it didn't change anything'?"

"I- I-" I stuttered nervously. But then I thought that it didn't really matter, I think he already knew I cared for him, and I certainly didn't hide my feelings in that kiss. So why not let it all out? I took several deep breaths, and put my hands on my stomach to try to still the butterflies. "I think you've known for a while that I'm feeling more for you than I probably should. Realising what you are didn't change that at all, at least not in a negative way." My voice was shaking.

"You should be disgusted."

"You're not a werewolf now, are you? No, you're just like me; alive and human. So what about that one day each month? I'm sure most men would agree that all women turn into complete monsters an entire week each month."

"It's-"

"It's not the same, I know," I interrupted him. "I'm just trying to make a point to show you that 12 days a year doesn't define who you are for the other 353 days."

"You really are amazing, you know that? For someone so young to be so mature in thought and mind, and... other areas."

I blushed.

"Still, what we just did is wrong and it can't happen again."

It was like someone drenched me in cold water. "Why not? We're both adults, we haven't done anything wrong. Was it that bad?"

"It wasn't bad, quite the opposite really. But as I said earlier, you are my student and I am your teacher. It's not right."

"I'd hate to sound like a crazy teenager, but I don't care. I don't want this to end after just one kiss, Remus." I was feeling a little bit desperate right now. He gave me the one thing I've wanted for months, only to rip it away from me. "You kissed me, Remus. You have to be feeling something for me?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling," he admitted. "You're very mature for your age. And you're smart and funny, and very attractive. But you have to understand that I don't want to risk my job here anymore than I already am, with me being a werewolf. And I certainly don't want you to get expelled."

"I understand." I sighed sadly. "I really do. At least there's only three months left before I leave this place for good. Maybe then?"

He smiled now, as if I'd given him a great gift. "Maybe then."

"I guess I should be leaving now. I need to have Tia catch me up on yesterday's lesson." I stood up and awkwardly straightened my robes.

"Don't worry about catching up," Remus said and stood up too. "It was only some theory on weak spots on dragons. Just read the chapter sometime before exams, and I'm sure you will be fine. It's not a critical subject, and the chapter is the shortest one in the book."

"If you say so. After all, you know best." I smiled crookedly and moved towards the door. "And I promise that I will not tell anyone about anything that transpired in here today."

"Thank you, Niamh. I really appreciate that."

My hand moved to the door handle, when I had a thought. I looked back shyly, not quite meeting his eyes. "You really think I'm attractive?"

He walked towards me. Gently he put a finger under my chin and raised my head. Once again he lowered his head, wet his lips and kissed me. Pressing his lips hard against mine, his hands on either side of my cheeks, holding me in place. Before I had time to return the kiss, he pulled back. "I find you very, very attractive."

"Oh," was all I managed to say, or rather breathe.

"Enjoy your weekend," he then said with a wink, opened the door and guided me out.

Dazedly I leaned against the wall out in the hall, trying to control myself and get the feeling back in my legs. That was mean of him, kiss me like that and then just push me out. Very mean.
- 8
- 9
- 10
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

A Wolf's Soul