Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for A Winter Tale

By : Bylle

From ANON - on July 17, 2016
It's difficult to read. Even with a beta there are spelling and grammar errors.

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From GertrudeFlint on November 03, 2013
After reading the first three chapters (out of 27), I find I'm mostly enjoying this story. Still not sure if I'll read further... oh, probably will - it's such a rare pairing, and what you've done with it so far encourages me to check out what will happen once they're actually married.

Gotta say, though, that this fic needs serious cleaning up. Proper beta-reading to zap the typos and occasionally odd word choices due to English not being the author's native language (e.g. confusing boast/boost, cheek/check, tray/tree). And it still bears the scars of AFF's Great Database Disaster of 2004, which left every story on the archive with some random scrambled letters. I remember cursing and swearing through the necessary editing after that. But it's been NINE YEARS now...! If I had a single wish to grant for this story, I'd wave a wand and see it all cleaned up and re-posted in a far more user-friendly state at Archive of Our Own. Because we don't have to live in 2004 anymore.

So far, reading through, I'm willing to accept the adapted Marriage Law set-up. Glad to see a supportive McGonagall, too, and Snape being... well, himself. Rather liked the Dumbledore/Rosmerta scene, going outside Hogwarts to add some depth to Dumbledore's background and his emotional reaction to the situation.

What I've enjoyed most so far is that part in Chapter 2 where Hermione looks back at her changing views of Dumbledore over the years and contemplates playfulness as a character trait. It makes me curious to see how her views might change further once she gets to know him a whole lot better.
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From hhait on August 13, 2013
Fantastic! Loved it. A very sweet sensual story.

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From ANON - Jenifer on May 09, 2013
This is a wonderful tale. You have done what I would have thought impossible, and that is, make a AD/HG pairing romantic and erotic.

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From kierasama on February 15, 2013
To be honest, I've seen this story before, but never got around to reading it, as I was a bit put off by the pairing. Tonight, however, I decided to give it a try. It surprised me. It really is very well written and I really do like it a lot. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
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From ANON - AeonFlux4444 on August 29, 2012
I forgot to remind you that vasectomy is reversible and therefore, if you want you can write a fic with this base alternative.
Do you not go with the winds of change and do not like children?
(The Scorpios - thy countrymen - sing in a beautiful song).
They are the world's gold! And you could now itself with the basis of marriage to Hermione and Severus rewriting the end of cap.25 initiate alternative then, and super famous.
I know it's your fic and you can do whatever the hell you want. It's just a suggestion pro-life. Bye.
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From ANON - AeonFlux4444 on August 29, 2012
When I read I notice you because you are a writer by profession, you know very well handle the characters and their personal interactions and know how to plan a scene and what you mean there.
Oh! Wish I could learn from you, it would be wonderful to be part of that art.
As I've already pointed out, (and you have everything planned) my focus is on how you included eroticism.
I think it is often unnecessary to be so descriptive, clear that including it as you do, makes the scene hot and suggestive and that, dammit as we like all human beings
I have to tell you: "Manipulative Witch " worse than Albus Dumbledore! After read you my husband and I enjoyed our time with more passion.
He was one of my professors at the University, and it was hard to catch him being older than me.
This leads me to think that there must be many young people who are heated and power fucking like rabbits when they read like this.
The girl who recommended this fic, commented that after she read every sex scene, she was masturbating with her vibrator to wholeness.
I think that takes away the romance to your fic.
So I recommend that in the future, moderating pleasure eroticism, it is not necessary, but I understand it is a selling point when you live what you write and want to hit hard in public taste.
I know two other languages and if I can I translate them, but contact me first. Same name on fanfiction.net
Hasta la vista baby.
Auf Wiedersehen.
P.S: This story is the only partner that is Hermione Granger / Albus Dumbledore. I think everybody seemed kind of pedophilia and therefore never addressed the issue.
I have to add you it worked very well
Although fellatio and cunnilingus never found me romantic, rather we talk about the animal part inferiorization humans.
They are myths, that is why we need to disqualify.!
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From AeonFlux4444 on August 29, 2012
Your English is dense and that you say you need beta, I do not think so, liar! Obviously, since you do not read the comments, but if for some crazy reason the reach review let me tell you this beautifully written your fic, this show that you have culture but you lack medical knowledge. How can you put like a valid reason for Snape
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From Irisheather on June 11, 2012
Ich bezweifle, dass Sie meinen Kommentar lesen viele Jahre, wenn ja Ich mag w
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From Jorossie on January 04, 2012

I never thought I would like a story about Hermione and Albus, but your story has changed my mind. They seem to fit together in this story. I can safely say I absolutely want to read more in this genre! I have started reading your story this weekend and I couldn't really stop reading. Even now, when I have finished it "I WANT MORE"!!!!! You capture them so beautifully (that's exactly how I picture Albus), although I must confess I had hoped that the true love and getting along in the marriage might have taken longer (lol more chapters then wiehoew!! ;) ) I absolutely loved it and I hope that perhaps you would like to write another one. The same genre, the same couple (but perhaps with a happy ending for Albus and Hermoine). Oooooh and I defintely would like to see how Albus would react if something were to happen to Hermoine.

Ooh and if you have any recommendations I would love to read them!!!

Thanks again for a wonderfull story!

xxx
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From waldorfcv on November 04, 2010
This is seriously an impressive achievement. Plot and prose are both excellent - even though there are some second-language kind of mistakes, it doesn't take away from the obvious thoughtfulness and general quality of your writing. It is such a sweet, well developed story. I couldn't imagine how this couple could be made to work, nevermind having a child and then allowing for a later love story. You made it all work really well! I especially liked that Hermione and Severus did not sort of fall into their relationship right away, but had sometime to just be friends while getting other needs met with other people. It wasn't what I was expecting and at first it wasn't what I wanted, but in the end I think it's a lot better in terms of characterization, and a lot more satisfying in terms of the story. I also appreciate the chapter where Harry receives the letter, and the slightly indirect way all that very emotionally charged content is delivered. I don't think I could have stood to read the moment-by-moment version of the battle and Albus' decline and all that...it would be too sad, but also too easy to write badly. I think this story shows that you are a very skilfull writer. Great job, and thanks for sharing!
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From karenmiller1972 on October 26, 2010
I loved this story. I saw where it was going. I knew the end was written when I began it. I must admit though, I had vain dreams of Vamps being able to save AD. But, not going there really kept your story from flowing into rare fancifulness and made it even more touching. I cried. I just absolutely loved this story!

karenmiller.1972@yahoo.com

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From saffron on September 05, 2010
This story is brilliant. The pairing is unconventional but the way you've written is a
Amazing.
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From innerturmoil on August 30, 2010
Hey, I can look over your work if you like. I'm an English major and I speak German, since I lived there for a year. Great job on the English, though. My German is definitely not that good. But, yeah, if you want I'll look over your things and correct it. You can also ask for clarification in German and I can try to help.
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From Nicfawks on August 13, 2010
OMG I can't believe this story was soo good, i cried when Albus died in j.k's book the half blood prince, i also cried when he dies in this story, i loved it, i wish albus could've stayed alive with hermione and their baby, i wish there was another way dumbledore could've defeated voldemort without sacrficing his magic in doing so, also i loved the love making bits in the story it showed how much albus really cared about Hermione before and afterwards, i laughed and cried at this fanfiction, please can u post a sequel of this story i really loved it, i think their should be more Albus/Hermione fanfictions on this web site but it's only got one and it's your story.
when i was reading i felt excited plus when i was away for this story i had it on the back of my mind and i'd have a big smile on my face whenever i thought about it.

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